Saturday, October 24, 2009

Was Steve Phillips unaware that Erin Andrews worked at ESPN?

Erin Andrews.  
Not involved in any way 
with the Steve Phillips scandal, 
but she does work for ESPN
 and that's close enough for this post. 

I know I'm a tad late to this pants down party, but as my regular readers know I am not a sports enthusiast and normally wouldn't know the guy involved in this byzantine story of adultery, fuckery and fatal attraction foolishness if I tripped over him.

Steve Phillips, ESPN baseball analyst and ex-Mets general manager is involved in one of the most complicated, jaw-dropping, what-the-fuck-were-you-thinking scandals that I've seen in...oh...the last two weeks.

Let's try to sort this out, shall we?  Steve, 46, married with four sons, is putting the flesh bone to one of the 22 year-old production assistants at ESPN.  Her name is Brooke Hundley.  The New York Post, which has run about 200 stories on this sordid stupidity, reports that ESPN is a hotbed (tee hee) of these kind of sexcapades.  Staff watching too many episodes of Mad Men perhaps.  Steve, his own self, was given an 8 day leave from the Mets and sued for sexual harassment back in 1998 for laying pipe to a number of fillies on the payroll.  When does this man sleep???!!!   Steve claims that he only did Brooke a couple of times.  Probably one on the desk and one up against the the copy machine.  You know, your standard balls-deep office sex.

Steve Phillips, the poor woman's Don Draper.  
Shown here getting an 
on-air hummer underneath the desk.  

All I can say is that Steve must be quite the cocksman because that was more than enough to send Brooke over the moon in love.  It also turned her into a frizzy-haired Glenn Close wannabe ready to put the pet bunny on the boil.  (I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!!!) Yes, that's right.  In addition to cell phone stalking, Brooke even went to Steve and (the wife) Marni's house to drop off a batshit crazy I'm-fucking-your-husband proclamation. (copy here.)  In the letter Brooke even describes a "big birthmark on his crotch right above his penis."  Uh-oh.  Looks like your chance for a blanket denial is off the table there, Big Guy.  On top of all this when Marni comes home and almost catches Ms. Loony Tunes, Brooke speeds off and crashes into a stone wall before finally hightailing it out of there.  Bottom line.  Scared wife calls police, reports are filed, hubby is busted by wife and suspended from work, divorce is in the works, restraining orders are filed by Brooke claiming Steve forced her into sex, and the perfect scandal shit storm is played out in the media to the glee of everyone.  Steve, Marni, and their kids excepted, of course.   I'm sure Brooke is probably doing OK and angling for a reality show as we speak.

Oh wait.  I almost forgot.  You're probably dying to see what kind of smokin' hot temptress would be enough woman for an experienced office lothario like Steve.  The kind of siren whose call any man would be unable to resist.  A woman worth taking the chance of throwing his family, career and all he holds dear under the bus for.

Well, here she is.

And no...I'm not kidding.

1 comment:

  1. If you are going to ruin your marriage and career, make sure its for someone hotter than the lady serving you at the local bakery.