Sunday, October 18, 2009

Falcon's Family Famewhore Fraud. Father Facing Felonies. Balloon Boy Big Bust.


Quick TLC, get the contract ready.  
This family is more batshit crazy than the Gosselins.

Proving that when you smell stink there's usually a huge pile of bullshit somewhere, the whole Balloon Boy saga has been exposed as a stunt for the famewhore Heene family to land a reality show.  (The first clue should have been that they had one under their belt already.  Some piece of crap called Wife Swap, which sounded interesting until somebody told me it wasn't porn.)

Douchery abounds in this little saga.  The sheriff, who on Thursday was righteously assuring the world of the sincerity of the distraught family by virtue of his army of "Deception and Body Language Experts", now says that the authorities smelled a rat from the git go but were playing along just to lull the family into making a full confession.  Riiiiiiiight.  Nice CYA there, Sheriff Clueless.  Be that as it may, Richard and Mayumi may want to lawyer up big-time 'cause the charges they be a-comin'.   How about the American people?  Do we get to sue for the two hours lost by this ridiculous shuck and jive?  I know we were all invested in a happy ending for little Falcon, but at the same time I wasn't going to turn away if the flailing little tyke took a tumble out of that stupid flying jiffy pop cooker.

Let's get back to the idiot parents, shall we?  It quickly came out that Richard Heene and his wife are failed actors and members of the Screen Actors Guild.  Just as a side note, his Hollywood landlady claims he stiffed her for $6000 in rent.  Nice.  Another "friend" has come out and said that Richard believes that there are shape shifting lizard aliens that live among us and that this was going to be incorporated into the reality show.  Cu-kooo.  Cu-kooo.

Reality programming sure has been a plus for the culture of America hasn't it?  Look what we've learned about some of our fellow citizens.  People will proudly display all manner of pathologies for a bit of cheap fame.  Not too mention pretending your kid is in mortal danger as a self promotion tool.  How about lying, cheating and conniving on shows like Survivor and Big Brother.  A window into skank and stripper culture with Rock of Love and Charm School.  Totally fake and scripted bullshit like The Hills and The Real World.  Marriage played as a sick joke on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  And that's just scratching the surface.

I could go on and on but you get the drift.  It's amazing that any self respecting shape-shifting alien lizard would want to be any part of it.

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