Not a headline you see every day.

From the Salt Lake Tribune:

Man misses birth of his child 

after fondling nurse, police say  

Adam Jay Manning.   

After a few bong hits he could pass 

for the poor woman's Keanu Reeves.

Adam Jay Manning (damn, there's that three name thing again) was obviously horny as a three peckered billy goat when he took his lady love to the hospital to give birth to their kidlet.   In all fairness, when most women get to those last few months of pregnancy hot banging usually gives way to the nesting instinct and a guy can start getting a little anxious.  Anyway, Adam took one look at the nurse in charge and felt compelled to comment on her cuteness.  (What guy doesn't love that nurse persona?  Especially with the hair up under that little cap, maybe a pair of glasses but you can still tell she's smokin' hot once the hair comes down.  She's got a garter belt holding up those white stockings.  Yeah, baby...Say is it getting hot in here?  Sorry, I'm digressing.)

Apparently, the nurse started playing hard to get even after Adam's super smooth opening come-on, and continued to help the mother to be.  At that point, Adam, libido in hyper drive pretended to massage nursie's neck and went straight for the boobage.  Whooo, slow down there, Romeo.

Long story short.  Adam is popped for forcible sexual abuse and misses all the tender moments that accompany the miracle of childbirth.  Bummer.

Next time, Adam, there is something that will help you over the sexually parched times of pregnancy.  It's called porn.  You may have heard of it.  I suggest an oldie but a goodie titled Nurse Nancy.  Pee Wee Herman found it quite arousing and gave it four palms up.