Thursday, June 16, 2011

Weiner Pulls Out: America ejaculates and sighs in relief.

That's it.  Lights out.  The circus is packing up the tent as the star attraction goes into retirement.  Our long (tee hee) national nightmare is over.

Anthony, Anthony, Anthony. 
This is one you should have phoned in. 

I'm wondering.  Is there a law somewhere that when a disgraced figure is forced to resign he has to do it publicly?  Because if there isn't why the fuck would Anthony Weiner get up in front of the cameras one more time?  Has his humiliation not been enough yet?  He even thanked his parents and mentioned his brother by name.  Ouch, thanks for the shout out, Bro.  How about this?  A simple statement read by a staffer as his final duty before he hits the unemployment line.  "I hereby resign my position as the Representative of the ninth district of New York in the United States House of Representatives.  Effective Immediately.  I have been proud to serve you.  Thank you and God bless America."  Period.  Wouldn't that have been better?

If Weiner had done it my way, he would have been spared the heckling from the Howard Stern whack pack.  "Pervert!" and "Are you more than 7 inches?" and "Are you fully erect right now?"  Holy shit, even I cringed a bit at the pile-on.  Weiner denied himself a low-key dignified exit because he can't stay away from those damn cameras.  (Silly me.  Dignified, low-key, Anthony Weiner and cameras in the same sentence.  What the hell am I thinking?)  At least he didn't pull out his turgid dick and cup his balls as a crowning farewell.  And thank God he didn't have the little wifey standing there with him looking like someone in a hostage video.  Speaking of Huma, how would you like to have been a fly on the wall when she got home?  Can you imagine the sick feeling in the pit of Anthony's stomach when he saw those headlights as she turned in the driveway.

One of the stupidest things I've heard from women commentators on the subject of Anthony Weiner goes something like this, "Why would he do something so stupid and so reckless?  His wife Huma is so beautiful and accomplished."  Are women really that dumb when it comes to male sexuality?  Axiom #1.  It doesn't have to be better.  It just has to be different.  (Even stipulating that Anthony Weiner is not sexually normal, has severe exhibitionist tendencies and god only knows what other kinds of kink.)

One last thing somewhat off the topic.  I was watching some of the pre-game anticipation and time killing banter on Fox News this morning.  Kirsten Powers was on the phone to comment on the upcoming news conference.  She's a good looking liberal chick, but not necessarily a party line spouting Kool-Aid drinker.  She's also pretty smart and a columnist for the New York Post and a Fox News contributor.  And, in case you didn't know, she dated The Weiner for 3 months, so she knows him and can probably answer the "more than 7 inches" question.  So here is the howler that came from the yap of Kirsten Powers.  She was commenting on how his behavior was so disrespectful to women, bordering on sexual harassment and in the case of Ginger Lee, (Paraphrasing) "Just because she's a pornstar/stripper doesn't mean she deserved to be talked to this way, because she genuinely seemed to be interested in politics."  What she is referring to is Weiner talking about his "package" in his emails with the pornstar.

Putting aside the "normal" women the congressman was trolling, let's focus on the pornstar since Kirsten Powers brought her up to accent the sexual harassment aspect.   OK.  I'm about the take the giant leap into the big muddy puddle of political incorrectness.  Kirsten.  Dear, dear Kirsten. You've apparently sucked up so much feminist theory that you've learned nothing about men.  (I once told Mrs. Funeral Guy, "If you broads ever figure out what we men are really thinking, you'll run screaming from the room.")

I'm going to make this really simple.  Anthony Weiner finds out that a pornstar is following him on Twitter.  (Yes, I know that she and her harpy attorney Gloria Allred erased the pornstar appellation and now go with "featured dancer".  Puhleeze.)  Ginger Lee wants to play policy wonk with the congressman.  Anthony Weiner is a man and a horny, creepy one to boot.  I'm sure he Googled Ginger Lee and caught a few video performances.  I sure have.  Now Ginger Lee chose her occupation.  Much like you chose yours, Kirsten.  If I followed you on Twitter I would be expecting serious political discourse.  If I followed Ginger Lee, I would be expecting sexual intercourse discourse.  It's like this.  When you choose as your profession a job in which you suck cock, take cock up the ass, and ride cock reverse cowgirl in front of a camera, can you really be surprised when a male wants to talk to you about his cock?  The male brain processes a pornstar and thinks whore, which strictly defined she is.  She fucks not for love but for money.  To an Anthony Weiner (and most men, frankly) Ginger Lee isn't a person, she's a pornstar.  She certainly deserves basic human rights such as the right not to be raped or harassed on the street for being a pornstar, but from the male population she ain't gonna get respect for her brain and her opinions on political issues.  My point is, you can't bone three guys, look into a camera and lick cum off your fingers, then expect men to want discuss health care policy with you.  Does this come as a shock?  When you purposely present yourself to the world in a certain way, don't be offended when the world takes you for what you've presented.  It's like when a person covers his face with tattoos, has huge piercings all over his body then when he gets the inevitable gawking he screams, "Hey, what the fuck are you looking at?"

I've gone a little far afield here, I know.  I have to admit that I almost felt sorry for The Weiner today.  I don't think I've ever seen somebody crash and burn so spectacularly in my life.  God knows I've had a really fun time writing about this with my schadenfreude level at Defcon 1.  At the same time, I'm a sympathetic person.  (Hey, stop laughing.  I'm in the sympathy business.)  The problem for Anthony Weiner was that the guy was such an asshole even his own party didn't like him much.  He was so inclined to ascribe bad motives to those who didn't agree with his left wing politics, that at the end, those on the other side couldn't help but watch his flameout with a certain amount of glee.

So.  What will become of The Weiner?  I just heard on the news that Larry Flynt is offering him a job.  Sounds like a good fit to me.  And by hanging around with Larry Flynt he might run into Ginger Lee.  They could talk politics.  Or whatever.

1 comment:

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