Do you have a gym in your house?
Well, technically you do because you pay for it.
You don't get to use it though, because you're not special.
I guess when Anthony is alone he gets his teenage girl on and just can't keep himself away from the camera phone and the mirror. The only thing missing among these photos are a panty clad butt shot and duckface. Or maybe The Weiner isn't alone. What if a number of our congressmen spend their days lounging in the House gym? Taking photos of themselves and having towel fights. Might as well, it's right there in the building where they work. Who wouldn't need a break from the rigors of thinking up new ways to tell you how to run your life and business? Frivolously throwing your tax money away is hard work, you Plebeians.
I picture them them all oiled up like the gladiators in Spartucus. Only wrinkled, doughy and with old man tits. Attended by Nubian slave girls serving wine into golden goblets while they get their massages. Anthony is the star of the show, since he is the only one who actually uses the exercise equipment. "Ooooooooh, Anthony," they coo, "we just took a full quorum vote and it is hereby agreed that you have the smoothest, dreamiest pecs in all of congress and your thighs are like the mighty oak. What will it take to get you to drop the towel, dear boy?"
I'm beginning to change my mind. I don't think I ever want this guy to resign. He's just too fucking funny. Forget the rehab. Go for re-election. Keep doin' what your doin', Anthony. And don't ever change. Congress needs all the disrespect it can get.
Here's one Anthony took for next month's issue of Tiger Beat.
Keeping it clean but sexy for his teenage fangirls.