Wednesday, June 22, 2011

If you want to parade around in your underwear become an Abercrombie and Fitch model why dontcha?

If you need any further proof we're in the dog days of summer, look no further than this story.  This one is all over the place.  (Come back, Anthony Weiner, all is forgiven.)

It all started when 20-year old Deshon Marmon was booted from a US Airways flight because he was "saggin' and baggin'" in a style that I'm stunned is still the fashion in certain communities after all these years.  (Maybe I should get out my bell bottoms and wide lapels.)  I mean wouldn't you want something that makes it easier to run from the police without your gun dropping on the ground?  Deshon was axed to pull up his pants so his underwear wasn't showing.  Instead of just pulling up his pants over his stupid butt Deshon had to make an issue out of it and was rightly kicked off the flight.   What if there was an emergency and you had to stumble over Deshon who was clogging the aisle because he tripped when his dumbass pants fell around his ankles?  Dude.  These days airline crews don't want to hear any shit from from you or anybody else.  Where have you been?   Do I need to mention that Deshon is black so, of course, he's retained an attorney.  Discrimination!

Appropriate attire for a meeting with your parole officer. 

Well, Deshon's case just got a boost since a photo has turned up of some outright fucking queen in a bra, panties and stockings.  And what was he doing?  Getting on a US Airways flight with no problem, that's what.  And what color was the old queen?  You guessed it.  White.  Do I really need to tell you where all this is heading?  This should make for some curious dynamics since the victim group hierarchy is beginner to re-jigger.  We are seeing evidence that when it comes down to a black victim and a gay victim, gay trumps black. Don't believe me?  Ask Tracy Morgan.

Any bets that he volunteers for the full pat down? 

I'm not stupid enough to think that we are going back to the days of Mad Men, when women wore dresses and men wore suits and people had manners when they travelled by plane.  But this is why we now have the government writing rules for every jot and tittle of everyday life.  Because people have absolutely no fucking common sense.  Isn't air travel shitty enough?   Packed like sardines in a flying tin can for God knows how long?  It's almost impossible to not to have a least some physical contact with your fellow passengers.  I don't want to sit next to a guy and his underwear exposed ass.  And I really, really don't want to squeeze past an aging drag queen in a garter belt, stockings and panties on my way to the bathroom.  What the fuck is wrong with people?  We've become a country overflowing with goddam narcissists.  If you want to look like a fucking gangbanger, do it in your 'hood.  If you want to be a cross-dressing weirdo, sashay around your own home or the local tranny bar.  For god's sake, nobody else wants to see that shit.  Do we all get to parade our oddball proclivities whenever we feel like it?  How about the next guy that wants to strut around the mall in a Nazi uniform.  Why not?  Batman costume OK?  Sure.  What the fuck.  Does a dude have a right to walk the airport with his dick hanging out of his pants?  Who are you to judge?  Look at me, look at me, look at meeeeeeeee!!!!

Life is not that complicated.  We all have to get along.  Let's agree on a few things.  (For airports and other public venues.)

Shower enough so you don't smell like ass.
Clean clothes, please.
Appropriate dress.  Not formal, appropriate.
Ladies, no exposed muffin top belly rolls.
Guys, no cut large armpit hole wife beaters. (Nobody wants to see your nipples.)
If you have fungus on your toenails, no flip-flops.
No visible butt crack. No visible underwear.  (Really hot girls excepted.)

h/t Judy Leach

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