Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Is this Downview Prison or the Grotto at the Playboy Mansion?

I watch a lot of British movies and some TV series.  I particularly like the police procedurals and the Brit gangster flicks.  They're just so different.  In the Hollywood version the hero cop will throw some asshole perp to the ground and stick a Glock in his mouth while shouting about blowing his fucking head off.  The police across the pond are always kinder and gentler.  Taking the bad guy down to the station to help with their inquiry.  The prisons over there always seemed a little lax as well.  For me?  I like to see criminal douchebags rot in a nasty place like Pelican Bay.

Downview Prison is a women's jail in Sutton, Surrey, England.  But for Acting Governor Russell Thorne and his horny toady Officer Simon Dykes, it was their own personal poontang prison with sex, booze and lesbian shows for the tawdry turnkeys.  (By the way, how cool is it that a women's prison guard is man named Dykes?)

 Russell Thorne. 
Only a complete goober buttons 
all three buttons on his suit jacket. 

Simon Dykes. 
This guy looks like a total dick, doesn't he? 

It all started in 2006 when a comely convict caught the eye of Thorne who was the head (tee hee) of the prison.  A little flirting turned to kissing then it was on to the desk for a right shagging.  Servicing the boss does have it's rewards and soon the jailbird jezebel had the run of Thorne's office along with gifts of makeup, weekend releases and Red Bull and vodka.  It then followed that another tart joined the fun for threesomes and lesbian shows.  Everybody in the whole cellblock was boning to the jailhouse rock.

Officer Dykes contributed to this fuckery by positioning his office on the way to the showers.  The female prisoners had to pass his door clad in towels or robes like contestants in a beauty contest subjecting themselves to his lecherous gaze and slobbering leer.  When Dykes saw one that satisfied his fancy he would stop them for a chat, then into the office for a grope, a groan and a knob polish.

Testimony provided by the felonious floozies painted the picture of Thorne as "romantic" in his approach and Dykes as a "predator".   A ploy as old a police work itself.  It's known as good cock, bad cock.

I want to know who in the hell thought it was a good idea to put men in charge of a jail filled with bad news broads.  Can't see what could possibly go wrong with that scenario.  When you have a women's prison you're supposed to have a tall blonde warden who's a little butch but still hot.  The guards?  Tight uniforms and hot.  The prisoners?  All scantily clad and totally hot.  Didn't the movies Caged Heat or Jackson County Jail ever play in Great Britain?

The story describes the women as "mentally vulnerable", but I'm wondering how much of this was coercion and how much was play the man in charge for favors in exchange for sex.  The trial continues.

I couldn't help myself.  Ladies and Gentlemen, a classic of the women's prison movie genre.  Warning: some nudity (like that's going to scare you off).  Also bad acting and pre-breast implant sag.  

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