Monday, June 27, 2011

The Shaman of Shadukey Speaketh.

You remember the saga of the mysterious "Sky"?  He was the Poopchute Peeper in the Boulder, Colorado Porta-Potty.  "Sky" turns out to be Luke Irvin Chrisco, 30, and he was arrested outside of Vail, CO last Thursday while panhandling outside a gas station.

Luke Irvin Chrisco.  He doesn't look half bad 
when he's cleaned and deodorized.  

Luke has admitted to being the Porta-Potty Pervert and has quite a story to tell.
Chrisco said he was living in the woods in France years ago and some friends went to a recreation center. He said he was wandering around inside the center when he ventured into the girls' locker room and noticed a loose vent, where he decided to hide.
So he "ventured" into the girls' locker room.  Like the call of the Sirens and Luke just a hapless sailor.  
"These chicks started showing up that I never had a chance with," Chrisco said. "But I figured at least I can see them change or something. I've come to know how interesting they are."
Hey, Luke.  I like interesting chicks too.  What you do is you talk to them, make them like you, take them to dinner then eventually they'll willingly take their clothes off and let you see their lady parts.  AND LET YOU DO FUN STUFF.  TRY IT SOMETIME.

After Luke's European adventures, he returned to the lucky town of Boulder and became a driller of holes and a peeker at pulchritude.  Several attempts to set up porn sites and an entrepreneurial eye as a pimp came to naught.  Even these were not to make money but to advance his beliefs sex stuff, I guess.  
"I wanted to start a new goddess religion," he said. "I always wanted to be a pimp or create a church of porn or a church of tantric, someplace people could be spiritual but also instinctual," he said. 
Sure, you can say Luke is a unbalanced weirdo sex offender who is a danger to society, but how is his philosophy any different from that of Charlie Sheen?  (Who should also arguably be in some sort of custody.)

Even though Luke's first foray into looking for Goddesses in the public dumper ended in his arrest, the enjoyment of the sight and smells will always hold fond memories.
"I thought, 'This is really amazing; I've been blessed and anointed by the makers of life,'" Chrisco said.
There you go.  One man's golden shower fetish is another man's communion.  With a big steaming log as an appetizer. 

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