Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Somebody patch that hole in the woodwork. Tiger Woods's skanks are starting to come out.

Tiger needs to drop that "s" off his last name 'cause that man's got wood and how!  And I'm not talking 'bout that club that gets him off the tee.  I'm talking 'bout the club that gets off on the T & A.  (God, how much fun is this!)

Jaimee Grubbs.
(On left.  Not the one with the huge tits and the tattoo.)
When Tiger prowls from his sweet wife he 
obviously likes a gal with a few miles on her.
You knew this had to happen.  Another front in the Tiger Woods whore war has opened up.  Another young lovely by the name of Jaimee Grubbs has revealed that she also hooky-uppied with the (alleged) walking boner of the golf links.  Jaimee, a twenty-four year old COCKtail waitress claims she has some 300 text messages from Tiger, some of them quite steamy.  Ohhh, lemmee see, lemmee see.   Jaimee, also informs Us Weekly that she and her Tiger did the dirty 20 times!  She must have had to take off her shoes to finish that count, eh?  Ms. Grubbs (love that surname) was also a participant in some TV show called Tool Academy.  I gotta admit I'm in the dark on this one.  What the fuck is a Tool Academy?  I'm not going to Google.  I'm just going to guess.  Tool Academy is a school for strumpets where they learn the best way to play with a guy's tool.  Well, Jaimee must have graduated with honors since she allegedly ended up in the sack with the World's Richest Athlete.  (20 times!!!!!!  She counted!!!!)

Rachel Uchitel doing her Duck Lip pose in a Guido sandwich.
I don't know what Tiger would see in her other than 
the ability to suck a golf ball through a garden hose. 

Meanwhile, when last seen Rachel Uchitel was still demurely denying any involvement with the Woodster.  Now that Miss Tool Academy has crawled out the the confessional can Rachel hold out as a paragon of all the virtues?  I'm guessing not.  If she doesn't hurry she may find herself at the end of a very long line of fuck-and-tell sleazebuckets and the tabloids only have so much money to pay for the same old story.


  1. Talk about surnames, this story getters better and better. Tiger allegedly was caught 2 years ago by the Enquirer, and traded that knowledge for a cover story on sister mag's Mens Fitness. The guy who brokered the deal was American Media (Enquirer parent company) CEO David PECKER!

  2. I just read about this but didn't catch the Pecker connection. This story is pun crazy.