Saturday, December 5, 2009

Quit bitching. They could have chopped his feet off to make him fit.

Finally.  A funeral home story after nothing but sex, porn and Tiger Woods.  Gatling's Chapel is being sued by a family who claims the funeral home wouldn't re-adjust their loved one's body in his casket because it was not purchased at the funeral home.  See, we have ways to keep you away from those Costco caskets.  I love this quote from the brother-in-law.  "They had him tilted up like he was a guy driving a car."  Ha ha.

Who knows what the hell went on here.  If a guy is too tall you bend the knees up after embalming so he's a little shorter in the casket.  Think of embalming like Jello.  It will set in the position you put it in.  Nobody sees the deceased from the waist down anyway unless the casket is full-couch like Michael Jackson's or James Brown's casket.  (Do you really think we put shoes on if we don't have to)  But these are somewhat out of fashion, favored mostly by some African-Americans or old Italian mobsters.  

Here is my favorite visitation picture.

Meet Angel Pantoja Medina.  
Yes, he be dead, but still standing tall for his homies.

In other funeral news.  Okamoni Fa, a 400 lb. man missed a family funeral because the airline didn't have two seats available on a crowded Thanksgiving week flight.  As a person who recently spent 11 hours on two flights my sympathy level for Mr. Fa is pretty low.  Airline seats are torture enough these days.  I sure wouldn't want to be wedged up against Okamoni's jiggly flesh for 10 minutes much less a few hours.  Gross.  Advice to Mr. Fa.  You might want to think about dropping a couple of hundred pounds or the next funeral you'll be attending will be your own.  

No comments:

Post a Comment