Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Not a headline you see every day.

Three named Robert Stark Higgins.  Possible serial killer 
or just a garden variety douchebag in a shit suit?

I don't know what it is about Florida but their license plates shouldn't read, Florida: The Sunshine State.  I would suggest, Florida: Home of Serial Killers and Other Weird Shit.

Anyhoo.  Speaking of weird shit.  Police are charging a 21 year-old who while covered in feces jumped into somebody's pool.  None of the charges are specific to being covered in crap and jumping in a pool, which just goes to prove that when you're legislating behavior it's hard to think of everything.  The poops...sorry, the perp's name is Robert Stark Higgins. (Uh-oh.  There's the three name thing again.  He's most likely a serial killer in addition to being a shit coated pool jumper.)   Unanswered questions are: who's mookie stink was it?  How much was he covered with? (Head-to-toe or just smears).  And who threw him the soap before he was let out of the pool and into the squad car?

Police are saying that Mr. Higgins had apparently been drinking.  Well, duh.  But I don't find that to be an excuse.  In my inebriated party days I may have woken up in some strange places, with some strange women even.  But not once, and I'll take a polygraph on this, was I ever painted in poo poo.

FYI: Weird Florida News yields 15,400,000 hits on Google.

h/t Drudge

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