Friday, May 13, 2011

OK, I may be the world's scariest terrorist, but I'm also just a regular guy.

Hello fellow internet pud wackers. It's me. Usama. Or as they call me here in the afterlife, Usama bin Jackin' Off. 

I can't believe the embarrassment. Just when I was making a move to blow up my porn stash one of the Navy Seals shot me above the eye. Ouch! The wound is not so bad now, but my image has taken a real blow (tee hee) now that I've been exposed as just another skeevy internet porn trolling donkey flogger.

This will be my last post here since after further review I'm getting kicked down to Hell. Unfortunately,all the good I did blowing up infidels was outweighed by the violations of all the sex rules. A man can only take so much temptation. Allah (Peace be upon him) never had to deal with the panoply of poon that is available with just the click of a mouse. Maybe having nine year old wives was enough for a man back in olden times. But now, who doesn't get turned on by Japanese girls pissing on each other? You just need more to get you going these days. 

Oh, well. In a lot of ways Hell might be better than here in Paradise. I was walking by one of the rooms and saw one of the blessed martyrs being serviced by one of his virgins. And for Allah's Sake, what a fucking pig! I managed to get a picture on my Iphone. 

Anyway, TaTa. I'm off to the netherworld. Filled with infidels and Jews, I can only imagine. I've been told that if you think of a cool oasis the hot sand enemas are not as bad as you think. And after half an eternity you almost get used to them.

Allah Akbar,

1 comment:

  1. Hot damn. We're back to having the fun in funeral!