Sunday, May 23, 2010

Chinese orgies!!...Can I have mine with pupu platter?

Orgies have never been my thing.

OK, are you done picking yourself up off the floor?  I'm being serious.  First of all, I'm really lazy.  And a lot of bodies are too much work.  Sexy time overload, if you will.  Second, orgies mean other naked men.  Need I say more?  One never knows if an opportunistic man may be secretly craving a little man butt and figures it will all just get lost in the shuffle.

In other words, Sultan with a harem...good.  Orgies?  Not so much.  Besides, your concentration is better with just a single enthusiastic partner.

I remember a few years back I watched a documentary on HBO about a swingers' convention.  Oh, my god.  These people were heinously awful.  The women were doughy, out of shape, bleached blond trailer park tramps and the men were either fat or scrawny.  If they weren't balding, they had mullets to fully complement the look of their fu-manchu pornstaches or their satanic Van Dyke beards.  Tattoos abounded on both genders.  The sex was soulless and beyond skeevy.  I remember one guy (who looked like he was probably on parole) loudly complaining that some other guy kissed the woman he was doing and hence interfered while he was "eating pussy".   Yuck.  I've seen other swinger stuff and my conclusion is that people who will fuck indiscriminately in a group are the people you wouldn't want to fuck even in the kindness of candlelight.

I bring this all up because China apparently has a law against this kind of thing.  Come to think of it, I would imagine that commie China has a law against pretty much every kind of thing.

Well, twice divorced Professor Ma Yaohai, 53, has run seriously afoul of the Chinese law against "group licentiousness" and has been sentenced to 3 1/2 years in the hoosegow for it.  I guess in the new China along with the good (freedom of commerce), you get the flip side (internet porn, whores and cluster fucking.)

I have to concede that technically the good professor pretty much defines the term licentious.  He set up his own little version of Craigslist with a website called "Traveling Couples".   His web handle?  Bighornyfire.  Oh, behave!  And where did these groan n' gropes take place?  In the small apartment he shares with his Alzheimer's afflicted mother.  That is not cool, dude.  In front of your mom?  (Hopefully he didn't have mom take part, but then again, it isn't like she'd remember anything.)  I guess it's kind of hard to have a Rat Pack type bachelor pad for this sort of get together in a communist country with a perpetual housing shortage.

Professor Ma Yaohai.
In America he could organize a "daisy chain" in a 
public park without anyone batting an eye, 
but he'd get 3 1/2 years for the cigarette.  

The Chinese people, for their part, have taken a live and let live attitude towards Professor Horny and his Merry Band of Funsters.  For an authoritarian society like China that's real progress.

P.S.  What will you never hear at a Chinese swingers party?
         Answer:  "Take it out.  Take it out.  It's hurting me!!!!!"

No comments:

Post a Comment