Friday, April 23, 2010

Larry King Update: Shawn's boy-toy talks while Larry's elderly sex obsessions run amok.

The wife, her cooch and the coach. 

The latest rumor is that Larry and the Misses have put their divorce on hold to see if things can be worked out.  Aaaaawwww.  That's nice.  The "You fucked my sister" and "Oh, yeah?  You fucked the Little League coach" poo flinging contest has gone dark for now.

Or has it?  The coach in question is flexing his pecs, opening his yap and giving us the full monty on his Cougar/MILF shagging of the present Mrs. King.  And I must say if Shawn's lady bits are as juicy as the quotes from the coach, Shawn will have every sentient male in the neighborhood lining up for a shot if and when she decides to dump her cadaver of a husband.

Hector Penate, the King kid's baseball coach.
After the game he fucks all the moms 
then does a drive-by.

Shawn's fuck buddy, Hector Penate, 31, told In Touch magazine that it took him all of two and a half weeks to get into Mrs. Hard-To-Get's pants.  And when he did, whoo boy!  Let's hear Hector Fuck 'n' Tell in his own words. "We had sex in Larry's bed -- a lot.  I had sex with Shawn while Larry was on TV. Our sex life was real good."

Some might think that boning a guy's wife in his own bed to be somewhat bad form, but look at the upside.  When the cuckolded hubby has a live TV show all you have to do is turn on the tube, make sure he's there, then have at it.  Hell, fuck her on the kitchen table if you want.  It's not like an angry spouse is going to come walking in the door with a gun anytime soon.

Hector also informs us that Shawn bought him a BMW and paid his rent.  Which in my mind, elevates him from your kid's little league coach to full fledged manwhore.

Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.  This is Larry King Live.  Tonight, I've got a boner...for the full hour!

"So tell me, Pamela.  
What was it you liked best about Tommy Lee's cock.
The length or the girth?"

Meanwhile, back at CNN, Larry is still inexplicably working, despite having senior moments where he forgets who he is and channels Howard Stern.  Last week he asked (and asked, and asked) an embarrassed (how often does that happen?) Pamela Anderson if she wore panties on Dancing With The Stars.  Then a few days ago, he was leeringly agreeing with Sarah Silverman that yes, Sarah Palin should pose nude for Playboy.

I can only imagine that senior CNN executives are starting to give each other the "side-eye" while whispering, "Holy shit, what the hell are we going to do about Larry?"  Well, CNN, you're going to have to do something.  Larry's ratings are starting to tank and he's beginning to act like the old guy in the nursing home that they have to keep a lap robe on because he won't stop masturbating.

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