Thursday, April 22, 2010

EU Drink-Off...Let's Bring It On!!!

The gauntlet has been thrown down:

Headline from the Irish Times:
Irish binge drinking "highest in EU."

Headline from the Telegraph (UK):
Britain is the "binge drinking capitol of Europe."

There is obviously only one way to settle this matter of national honor.  A totally pissed, drink till you drop, Battle of the Titans.

In this corner.  Representing the proud Emerald Isle.

Shane Macgowan, world class, hollow-legged souse and legendary falling down drunk singer of The Pogues.  What he lacks in teeth, he more than makes up for in age, experience, and a liver the size (and probably shape) of Ireland itself.  A life long hootch hound of Herculean capacity and endurance, Shane has to be considered a favorite by reputation and longevity alone.

And in the opposite corner.  For the yobs and ladettes of Britain.

The Queen of Quaff and Princess of the Plastered, Laura Hall, is the fastest rising star of the EU drinking scene.  She's young, she's foxy and she's really, really thirsty.  And at only 20 years of age has amassed an astonishing 26 booze related violations including the coveted title of being the only person male or female to be banned from drinking in both England and Wales.  Her youthful liver is probably not yet cirrhotic which may give her a slight edge.  The only question, since she's on a nationwide no-booze-buy-list, is will she be able to train properly for the big event.

Stay tuned.

h/t The Corner

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