EU Drink-Off...Let's Bring It On!!!

The gauntlet has been thrown down:

Headline from the Irish Times:
Irish binge drinking "highest in EU."

Headline from the Telegraph (UK):
Britain is the "binge drinking capitol of Europe."

There is obviously only one way to settle this matter of national honor.  A totally pissed, drink till you drop, Battle of the Titans.

In this corner.  Representing the proud Emerald Isle.

Shane Macgowan, world class, hollow-legged souse and legendary falling down drunk singer of The Pogues.  What he lacks in teeth, he more than makes up for in age, experience, and a liver the size (and probably shape) of Ireland itself.  A life long hootch hound of Herculean capacity and endurance, Shane has to be considered a favorite by reputation and longevity alone.

And in the opposite corner.  For the yobs and ladettes of Britain.

The Queen of Quaff and Princess of the Plastered, Laura Hall, is the fastest rising star of the EU drinking scene.  She's young, she's foxy and she's really, really thirsty.  And at only 20 years of age has amassed an astonishing 26 booze related violations including the coveted title of being the only person male or female to be banned from drinking in both England and Wales.  Her youthful liver is probably not yet cirrhotic which may give her a slight edge.  The only question, since she's on a nationwide no-booze-buy-list, is will she be able to train properly for the big event.

Stay tuned.

h/t The Corner

My new favorite gal is back in the news.

Laura at her smiling, sober, going to court best.   

Laura Hall, god bless her.  She's got pluck and spunk and I'll put money on her to prove to the world that she will not let The Man keep her from being drunk off her ass if she wants to.

When last we saw our favorite, famous, fucked-up floozie, she had just been handed her DBO (Drunk Banning Order) and was on her way to international reknown.   Yesterday she appeared in court for her drunk and disorderly charge that she got on April 11th.  A violation of her Asbo that was all of ten days ago and just a few days before she got banned from every pub and liquor establishment in Britain and Wales.  Some new details of Laura's shenanigans have now come to light.

 The Laura that we've come to know and love.

Booty shorts, patterned tights, bra strap showing, 

a glass of booze and total drunk face. 

According to the story in the Daily Mail (UK), when Laura is in her cups she's prone to assaults, attacks on police officers, causing criminal damage, and drunk and disorderly.  26 convictions in all (so far).

District Judge Bruce Morgan gave Laura an ass-chewing and he was clearly not amused.

"A female with a record like this - it's absolutely despicable and represents all that is rotten in society nowadays."

(Hold on there judge.  That be sexist talk.  Save some of your ire for the yobs.)

And:

"You can't go on behaving like this in public - it must be a frightening sight to see you in full sail behaving in a violent and aggressive manner."

(Yeah...frightening...as in completely and totally Hawwwwwttttttt!!!!!)

Judge Bruce also fined our little lass 75 quid for the offense and 100 for costs.
Damn.  That's some serous drinking money.

Drunk Laura photo thanks Dlisted.