You probably thought the bulge in his pants was a boner from looking at the body scans of hot chicks.

I think our government employees really get a bad rap sometimes.  They're unmotivated.  They lack initiative.  They're lazy and have no common sense.  OK, maybe most of them do fit this description.  But not TSA agent Nelson Santiago-Serrano.  He's the busiest beaver in the federal workforce.  In between touching your kid like a pedo, fingering a man's balls, feeling up some woman's tits, and humiliating your grandma by making her take off her Depends, Nelson would be hard at work filching whatever personal electronics he could get his sticky little fingers on.  Mr. Santiago-Serrano was caught last Monday stuffing an iPad down his pants by a Continental Airlines employee.

After being questioned by the Broward County Sheriff's Department (yes, that is in Florida), Nelson admitted to stealing about $50,000 worth of computers, GPS units, cell phones and other fun gizmos.  Just to prove there was no grass growing under his feet, Santiago-Serrano (is he in a gay marriage where he took some dude's last name?) would often put the merchandise up on Ebay while he was still at work and sell it by the end of the day.  PROBABLY USING YOUR FUCKING LAPTOP!  Hahahahahaha!   You gotta hand it to him.  Nelson knows how to add insult to injury.  And just think.  Now the TSA employees are going to be unionized.  That should make it easier to clear out the criminals, the lardbutts and the sexual deviants.

So for all of you who got a great deal on Ebay for personal electronics recently you might want to check to see if it smells like ass or ball sweat, since there is a good chance it went from somebody's suitcase to some TSA agent's pants.  

You don't think this guy is the only one of these mopes doing this do you?

   Nelson Santiago-Serrano. 

Because of his proven ability to 
separate citizens from their property 

he's been nominated to head 
the Internal Revenue Service.