Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Another penis sacrificed to The Cult of Lorena Bobbit.

The Funeral Guy has been tracking penis slicing, burning and all around abuse (not counting self-abuse) since we started.  See here, here and here.

I think we now have a new contender for the Queen of Dick Destruction.  Catherine Kieu Becker, 48, was in the process of divorcing her husband when she laced his food with either poison or some kind of sleeping nostrum.  Mr. Becker went to slumber town and upon awakening found himself tied to the bed.  Catherine approached with a knife and sliced off the Becker Pecker and (shudder) threw it in the garbage disposal.  Then, with what I can only imagine to be a maniacal cackle she turned on the switch.  Ye gods, picture the horror of that poor man.  The grinding sound of his peenie flesh mixing with chicken bones and potato peels as tissue, veins and capillaries meet the whirling blades of the trusty Insinkerator™.  Mrs. Becker called the cops before her husband bled to death and told them on arrival that he "deserved it".   Police have said there's been no record of domestic abuse so a motive is now being sought.  Motive?  How about she's a fucking vengeful menopausal shrew?

Catherine Kieu Becker. 
Knows where to hit a guy and make it hurt.  

Some women really have a penchant for this kind of revenge.  Catherine, who has been charged with aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment and assault with a deadly weapon, will soon be spinning tales of drunkenness, cruelty, and leaving the toilet seat up on the part of the poor penis-less Mr. Becker.  With the added bonus of celebrity famewhore attorney Gloria Allred by her side giving sympathy and comfort, I bet.  I know they don't give the death penalty for anything short of murder, but come on.  Shouldn't there be an exception for this?

What the hell was Mr. Becker (no first name yet) doing breaking bread with this unbalanced battle-ax?  If you're getting a divorce, get the fuck out of the house.  Get a hotel room and keep a gun under your pillow.  Even the meekest women are capable of extreme derangement.  Always be on your guard, especially when they get real quiet.  I appreciate that the article goes into great detail about what to do if you ever find your penis has been detached from your body.  For god's sake!  How often does this happen?

When a man gets domestically violent he might hit the woman.  He might even shoot or stab her.  Very rarely will he cut her tits off or otherwise do damage to her vagina.  Woman are like angry chimps.  After they tear your face off they go straight for your genitals.

I wonder if a guy in a gay marriage would ever cut his spouse's dick off.  I suspect we'll find out soon enough.

1 comment:

  1. Verdadero credo femenino:
    Creador te maldecimos todas las mujeres por negarnos un pene y testiculos.
    Eva cometio el error de no castrarte, en respuesta a la maldicion que le mandaste.
    Diste privilegios a tu engreido Adan
    Hemos logrado revertir tu creacion, haciendo de tus preferidos varones, esclavos nuestros,haciendo de sus vidas miserables.
    Hemos logrado facilmente que nos vean hermosas con algunas pinturas, y cachivaches.
    Tenemos ahora control del mundo, manejamos todo a nuestro antojo.
    Pero falta mujer realizarte en tu destino final en esta tierra que es castrar fisicamente al hombre.
    Armate de valor mujer, duerme a ese hombre con una droga, toma el cuchillo y castralo sin piedad solo asi estaras realizada en este mundo, de nada te valen hijos, titulos y dinero si no lo haces.
    Ese es el secreto mas sagrado de todos los tiempos y la verdadera causa de nuestra existencia