Friday, November 6, 2009

A really bad day for some guy's penis.

This link is from tbird and I can't believe I missed it the first time around.  Let's get right to the meat of things, shall we?  Bridget Harris lured her father to her apartment, handcuffed him to a chair, stuffed a rolled up towel in his mouth, then took a scalpel and cut off his wangdangdoodle.  Bridget is about to be sentenced for manslaughter (shouldn't that be manhood slaughter?) as pappy Harris died from suffocation.  A merciful death if you ask me.  Life without my giggle stick?  No thank you.

And now the best part.  Bridget, who apparently fancies herself a cross between Lorena Bobbit and Rachel Ray put poppa's peter in a pan and sauteed it because she wanted to be sure it couldn't be reattached.  (It can happen.  Check out John Wayne Bobbit's short-lived porn career starring in Frankenpenis.)  Mission accomplished since it was probably a race between Daddy No-Dick running out of air or out of blood.  Suffocation or exsanguination either way equals expiration.

One thing you can say about Bridget Harris.  She's no cock tease.
When it comes to the baloney pony she's all business.

At trial Bridget told tales of rape, incest, etc. and said in retrospect she should have taken the towel out of daddy's mouth before he up and died.  Can you imagine the screams that are buried in that towel?  Youch!  As a side note she mentions maybe going to the authorities regarding the abuse might have been a good idea.  Ya' think?

The article states that while in jail Bridget listens to other prisoner's woeful tales of parental sexual abuse.  (Innocents all, I'm sure.)  When not doing that she read mysteries and vampire stories.  What is a mystery is why you would give Bridget books about teeth sinking into human flesh and sucking blood.  Do we really want to give Bridget any more bright ideas?

Tonight on Cooking with Bridget and Hannibal.  
Pork penis served with Fava Beans and a nice Chi-aaanti.

1 comment:

  1. Keeping it at least tangentially on the subject: