I bought this here new, expensive metal detector and all I found were some darned severed feet...eh?

Headline:
Eighth severed foot washes up on Canada's Pacific coast. 

Anybody checked to see what Dexter Morgan 
has been up to lately?

I've always heard that the folks up in the Great White North are not an excitable bunch, but I think even Bob and Doug McKenzie might come out of their beer fog long enough to be a little concerned about not one, not two, not three, but EIGHT SHOE CLAD FEET WASHING UP ON THE SHORE OF THEIR COUNTRY!   No cause for alarm however, as scientists say the feet could have drifted thousands of miles and stayed intact for years because of the shoes.  Riiiiiight.

I love this quote.  "There has been no evidence to date to support foul play in relation to these discoveries, and it appears that all remains separated from the body, disarticulated, through a natural process."  So say the police.  (Is that the same police that they have up there with the funny hats?)

Oh, well that explains it then.  Nothing to see here.

So some person (both male and female feet have been found) is just walking down the beach and maybe gets hit by a wave.  Next thing you know, they look down and...

What the fuck!!??  My foot's gone!  Damn.  Should I report this?  Don't see what good that would do.  What are the Mounties going to do anyway?  Guess I'll just limp on home and make do.  

I had no idea those Canucks were so damn stoic.