Thursday, July 14, 2011

But it's got to be true. I saw it on the internet!!!

Photo of alleged Mistress of the Beauty Salon, Olga Zajac. 
Who allegedly karate kicked and allegedly raped a robber. 

I was going to write a killer post on the big story of the day about the would be robber of a beauty salon in Russia who was karate kicked unconscious by the foxy female owner (like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 1 & 2).  She then tied him to a chair and sexually assaulted him.  How do you do that to a frightened, flaccid and unwilling (sorry, no penis is truly unwilling) penis?  You feed it's owner nothing but Viagra and sproinggggg! just like magic, instant boner.

The jokes, japes and puns were flying around my head like bats in a belfry.  (No cash, just gash...Made for TV Lifetime Movie of the Week Starring Jennifer Aniston and Matthew many times did she send out for vodka...did she hide him behind an Iron Curtain...etc, etc.)  The story in the UK Daily Mail even brought up the scene in Pulp Fiction with Butch and Marcellus, Zed, his redneck friend, Maynard and their sidekick The Gimp.  Really good analogy except for the Russian scenario is pretty hot when you think about it and the Pulp Fiction scene (like Deliverance) involves butt-fucking male rape by two sweaty hillbillies.  Do I really need to tell you that I don't find that hot?

As it turns out this story first went around a couple of years ago.  And even then it was thought to be bullshit.  (Which was kinda my first thought also, but you know the old saying, "too good to check.")  Stuff that happens in Russia is likely the result of vodka and krokodil fever dreams anyway, so big grain of salt with the Russky news.

I spent a lot of time looking for this picture. 
See, she even looks like a beauty salon lady. 
Now I can't even use it.  Bummer. 

I will now get back to the post I was working on regarding the negotiations on the debt ceiling with riveting insights into the implications for the Republican Party and the Obama presidency.  Fascinating stuff.  You're gonna love it.

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