Friday, July 8, 2011

I want my "Tot Mom" porn!


Mommie Dearest

I have never written a post about Casey Anthony.  Why?  Because I lost interest in the case the second she was finally arrested.  I thought, just like OJ, this person is guilty as shit, and all the rest is just going to be a boring formality.  (Which tells you what a lousy prognosticator I am.)

The Casey Anthony story should have been a big, fat, slow pitch right down the center of the plate for me.  Skanky whore mom, missing kid, crazy parents, ALL HAPPENING IN FLORIDA!!  (New state slogan:  "If you can't do the time, do the crime in Florida!"  h/t Rush)  Unfortunately, I didn't start this blog till July 2009 so the ball was already rolling.

As we all know, little Caylee Anthony came up missing in June of 2008.  Her mother, Casey, was too busy partying and lying and didn't report her missing for 31 days.  Eventually,  Grandma Cindy Anthony (who's also a real piece of work) got concerned enough when Casey's lies and obfuscations became even too much for her and called 911 with a report which included the now infamous quote, "There is something wrong, I found my daughter's car today and it smells like there's been a dead body in the damn car."  After months of mendacity from the mouth of the "Tot Mom" (Nancy Grace's colorful appellation) what was determined to be Caylee's mostly skeletal remains were found not far from the Anthony home with duct tape wrapped around the head.

I'm not going to recap the whole sorry episode.  The reason I wasn't riveted to the trial like some people is that I figured the guilt of this monster was a forgone conclusion.  To wit:

The kid vanishes.  The whorish club-skank mom doesn't report this for 31 days but has time to party and get tattooed.  Have you ever had your kid wander off in a store out of your sight for 20 seconds?  I have and it's total panic.  To Casey it's a shrug of the shoulders.  ("She's with Zanny the nanny."  Zanny the nanny?  You've got to be shitting me.)

The grandma smells decomp in Casey's car.  Believe me, there is no confusing this with old pizza, a dead cat or a run over skunk.  The smell of decomposing human remains is primal.  You know what it is even if you've never smelled it before.  No expertise required.

Casey Anthony is a petty thief, a forger and a known pathological liar and self-centered narcissistic personality.

The kid is found with duct tape on her face.  Unless aliens with duct tape kidnapped Caylee what does your common sense tell you?  

For me, this is enough to know that Mom had something to do with the kid's death.   The aggressive prosecutors however, got over amped and charged Casey with murder one and made it a death penalty case. The jury is given no firm cause of death and can only convict on a willful murder or aggravated manslaughter.  Big mistake and Casey walks except for a the piffle charge of leading the cops on a wild goose chase.  I don't blame the jury entirely although I probably would have gone for the aggravated child abuse and the manslaughter.  The power to put somebody to death pushes the bar just a little higher.  As it should.

Here is my theory.  Casey loves Caylee in her own way.  As a sociopath would.  Cute little Caylee reflects positively back on Casey.  Being a mom is a drag, however, as is interferes with entering Hot Body contests, drinking and whoring around.  Casey gets in the habit of drugging the kid so she can go club crawling.  One night she fucks up and Caylee OD's and dies.  Casey, not intending to kill Caylee, looks at the situation the way any conscienceless psychopath would.  "This wasn't my fault, and I shouldn't have to pay a price for this. Shit happens.  I just need to get rid of Caylee then I  can get on with my life."  Me, me, me, me.  So she does what she's reportedly done her whole life.  Lies to and manipulates her clueless enabling parents Cindy and George and buys the time to ditch the body.  (I'm assuming the duct tape was to make it look like a kidnap/murder that would be pinned on the legendary "bushy haired stranger.")

Not a murder, but at least negligent homicide or involuntary manslaughter.  I don't often agree with Geraldo Rivera, but he's absolutely right on one point.   If this involved a black or hispanic woman it wouldn't have gotten the frenzy of media attention and certainly wouldn't have been a death penalty case.

So Casey Anthony will be released from jail on July 17th, free as the proverbial bird.  Now what?  Where does the most hated woman in America go?  What does she do next?

I'm sure her lawyer has lined up some paid interviews.  For now she's the ultimate "Big Get."  The Diane Sawyers and the Barbara Walters of the world aren't stupid, however.  They know what the country thinks of this lying piece of shit mom.  They understand the public wants blood and they will be out to give it to us figuratively since we couldn't get it by strapping Casey to a gurney and pumping a lethal injection into her.  They're not bound by the arcane rules of a courtroom.  These interviews are going to be rougher than if she was Sarah Palin.  Casey is going up against pros that she may not find amenable to serial lies and manipulation.   If a savvy interviewer wants to make you look bad, they can do it.  But, she'll be in the limelight and have a few bucks in her pocket.  (If she ends up doing interviews with her lawyer by her side cautioning her to say nothing, the gravy train will stop fairly quickly.)  We are, if nothing else, an easily bored populace.  Casey will be entertaining for a few weeks then we'll be on to the next grisly murder case.

Does she go back to her parents from whom she's been sponging off her entire adult life?  Possible, but not likely.  If my daughter accused me of molesting her in order to save her sorry ass on a charge of murdering my beloved grandchild, my unconditional love would not only get conditional real fast, it would be non-existent.  Live in my house?  I don't think so.

Some career advice was put forth by porn entrepreneur, Steve Hirsch, of Vivid Video.  He offered Casey the chance to exhibit her talents in front of a camera for cash what she'd most likely been giving away for free to the male party animals of Orange County, Florida.   Amazingly, after the offer was made public, Hirsch was inundated with so many emails from his fan base saying that there was no way they were going to support this endeavor that the offer was withdrawn.  Who'd have thought that porn aficionados would have such a finely calibrated moral compass.  Think about that.  You are so toxic that a hard core smut peddler is worried that you would sully the reputation of the pornography industry.  Ouch.  (Like Octomom, who also got an offer from Vivid, Casey's not quite hot enough to be a top of the line pornstar, but the "bad girl" factor would definitely be in play.)  The same would apply to the local area strip clubs as well.  So I guess she could swing around a pole and give lap dances until the novelty wore off.

Casey Anthony.  Glammed up for her porn audition. 
She should have done time for the duckface. 

Further down the road?  If I had to make a prediction, Casey will end up unloved and abandoned.  People eventually catch on to pathological liars and manipulators and avoid them like the plague.  Whatever attractiveness she has will fade and the only men that will be interested will be stew bums, losers and other social misfits.  Psychopaths don't normally live happy lives and usually come to a bad end.  She'll probably be in and out of jail for scams and petty crimes that she'll have to commit when she blows through all the money made by her infamy.  A real job will be out of the question even if she were so inclined.  Some sort of cosmic justice will prevail.

On the other hand, I suppose it's possible that Casey Anthony will see the error of her ways, repent, and spend her life giving aid and comfort to the lepers and the poor of India.  Sort of like a low rent Mother Theresa.

Yes, I could be completely wrong.  After all, I was positively sure OJ was going to fry.

1 comment:

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