Friday, April 23, 2010

Gay News...The fabulousness is absolutely fabulous!

Grease up that bat, Mary, I'll show you how gay I am. 

Gay Baseball.
When a pat on the butt just isn't enough. 

Three bisexual dudes are suing The North American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance (are you amateur if you've been paid for gay sex?) because their team was stripped of their second place finish for having too many "nongay" players.  The rules only allow 2 heterosexual players on a team.  

After another team went boo hoo hoo, the three men were called into a room with 25 people and were subjected to "personal and intrusive" questions about their sexual attractions and desires to determine just how gay they really were.  Oh, my.  They should have done it over the phone and charged $1.95 a minute.  

Bottom line? (Tee hee) The three men want $75,000 each for "emotional distress."

Two thoughts.  First, real straight men don't experience "emotional distress".   Ergo, they're gay.  Second, there is no such thing as a bisexual man.  If you have sucked on another man's peenie even once (unless you were in prison and had a shank to your neck) it doesn't matter what else you do with your sex life.  You're gay.

Do we finally have a love interest for Jughead? 

Dreamy Kevin Keller.
He's Gay-tastic!!

Somebody better take the doors off the stalls in the boy's bathroom at Riverdale High,  Archie comics is introducing it's first "openly" gay character.  Goodness knows how many closet cases they've had cruising the halls all these years.  The new guy in town is a wavy blonde cutie named Kevin Keller.  And according to the article, one of his dilemmas will be how to fend off the flirtatious Veronica. 'bout, "Hey Veronica, get a clue bitch.  I'm gay!  Let's give Betty a ring and go shopping."

Seriously, I really want to know.  Who the fuck still reads Archie comics?  Any adults?  Raise your hands.  Is it kids?  If so, do they really need to be following the adventures of gay Kevin?

I remember when I was a kid in the 50's and 60's I, and every other kid I knew, thought the Archie comics were completely and utterly lame.  Superman was on television in his underwear and Archie, Jughead, Reggie (talk about a closet case) and all the rest of the Riverdale High weenies dressed like they were still in the 1940's.  If memory serves, I think the cars still had running boards and the characters used phrases like "23 Skiddo" and "that's swell."  And no, my first masturbatory fantasies involved neither Betty or Veronica.

So maybe gay Kevin Keller is a good idea.  Lord knows, Riverdale could use a little shakeup.  Let me know when Kevin starts walking around in assless chaps.  That's an issue that might be interesting enough to pick up.

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