Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I'd like to screw your doggy, but I'm in sex rehab...Oh, OK, we can call it part of the act.

This dapper gentleman is Russell Brand, British yob comedian and self professed ex-heroin and sex addict. (Why do horny people insist on calling themselves sex addicts, by the way?) He's been chosen to host the MTV Video Music Awards in September. Russell is feeling "joyful twitches" that he is the first host to repeat the honor. You may remember his performance from last year. Very controversial. And brave in the extreme. Can you believe that he actually stood on a stage, in front of Hollywood celebrities, and called George W. Bush a "retarded cowboy"? Whoa, Russell, watch out for those flying rotten vegetables, Mate. Then with steely spined fortitude he called on the assembled to vote for Barack Obama, made fun of Sarah Palin, her pregnant daughter, Republicans and the Jonas Brothers whose crime is promoting purity, apparently. Edgy stuff and very, very brave.

This year he's thinking of "having live sex with barnyard animals onstage", but outside of that promises a less controversial show than last year. So besides the always hilarious bestiality routine what surprises can we expect in the comedy stylings of Russell Brand at this years show? Jokes about Obama? (Uhh, don't think we wanna go there.) Sex jokes about Michelle or the presidential daughters? (Blimey, are you crazy, dude?) How about the Washington power structure? (Oh shit, it's the Democrats that are fucking up the works now, Sunny Jim, and Republican jokes are staler than a week old crumpet for a cutting edge bloke like you, Russ.)

So may I suggest you take some Viagra before your "comedy gold" bovine boning, Guv'nor. You're going to want your humping to have some staying power 'cause it looks like your usual act might be running a bit short. Timewise, ya know.

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