Showing more moral clarity than Senator Chuck Shumer, pornstar Ginger Lee says Weiner should resign.

Pornstar Ginger Lee appeared with her famewhore attorney Gloria Allred in the hilariously appropriate setting of the Milton Berle room of the Friar's Club today.  The topic on the table?  Her complete innocence on her part of the Weiner Wanger Sexting Scandal.  The big news is that she stated flat out that Weiner "asked me to lie."  That spells trouble no matter how you slice Weiner's baloney.

It's not easy finding a picture of Ginger Lee that 

I can post on the family friendly Funeral Guy blog.  

Ms. Lee who says she's a former pornstar, now bills herself as a "featured dancer" in "nightclubs".  Oh, dear.  We are becoming delicate with our language aren't we now?  For those of you who are uninitiated in these matters, a "featured dancer" is a stripper/lap dancer and the "nightclub" is a strip joint.  You become a "featured dancer" after you've sucked a plentitude of dick and had your bunghole repeatedly reamed on enough porn DVD's that the horny and the curious will attend a live strip club performance so they can see your vagina up close and personal.  This is not the Alvin Ailey Dance Troupe or the fucking ballet we're talking about here.

Ms. Lee stated that she and The Weiner exchanged nearly 100 emails and Twitter messages for 3 months.  The demure little flower of womanhood said all the communications of a sexual nature were started by the congressman and when they came her way she averted her shy gaze and quickly changed the subject.  But Weiner kept trying to steer the conversation back to his Weiner.  Some of the messages from the congressman were as follows.

"I have wardrobe demands too. I need to highlight my package."


"Alright, my package and I are not going to beg." 


You aren't giving my package due credit."

But Ginger Lee didn't want to talk about Weiner's package.  That would be too much like she was at work.  You have to understand, Ginger is not your average blonde porn professional cum receptacle.  No way, Jose.  She wanted to talk policy.  Ms. Lee is particularly interested in the politics of Planned Parenthood and health care.  Stands to reason.  What good is a pregnant pornstar/stripper/featured dancer and who is going to pay for the treatment of Ginger's various and sundry STD's?

I could be wrong, of course, but I'm beginning to sense a pattern with Representative Weiner.  He is obsessed with his cock. (Insightful, I know.)  In all the exchanges we've seen so far it's always about him and his cock.  Rock hard, my package, big and fat, rock hard cock.  In photos, what's he doing?  Showing his boner, grabbing his junk, cupping his balls.  Outside of one comment to the blackjack dealer about her pussy being tight and wet, he never says, "Hey, I like your tits." or "Wow, you got one fine ass." or "Those legs would look really good wrapped around my waist".   You know, normal guy shit.  I can understand a horny dude wanting to get some action.  Maybe an intern blowjob and some splooge on a dress.  The usual politician quickie sex.  But this shit that Weiner pulled (tee hee) is just way too weird.  Mark my words, Anthony Weiner will be arrested some time in the future for walking around a Middle School with his penis hanging out of his fly.

Gloria Allred and her pornstar traveling circus hit town on the day the presumably angry and embarrassed Mrs. Weiner returns from her road trip.  Would I like to be Anthony Weiner right now?  Not for all the sluts on Facebook.

Update:  The New York Post is reporting that Ginger Lee will be back on the pole at the Pink Pony in Atlanta after her star turn in the Weiner saga today.  Bitch gottsa' get paid, yo!

Meet the press or meet your mom, 

a good fuckslut can dress properly when she has to. 

Android resembling Tiger Woods gives weird speech about something the earthlings call "sex addiction".

Tiger Woods (or the wooden indian they hired to play Tiger Woods) gave a totally pointless press conference Friday morning that by all accounts the entire world took time off to watch.  (Yours truly was out of town and had to catch the reruns.)   I particularly liked all the grim faced women in the front row.  How would you like to come home drunk a 3:00 in the morning to find one of those frowning battleaxes with a rolling pin in her hand?

There is really nothing much to say about the question-less press conference other than I don't think I've ever seen a dude more wanting to be somewhere else in my life.  I think it's beyond obvious that this was a Tiger Corporation ass-covering and an event to hopefully keep the gravy trains running on time.  Nike promptly accepted Tiger's apology, like that wasn't a done deal forgone conclusion.  The press reaction has been mixed to say the least.  Male sports pundits seem to want to put the whole thing away now, while the gyno-pundette sisterhood is still in unforgiving high dudgeon.

Me.  I just don't give a shit.  Golf is boring and I don't understand how anyone can watch it without a bong and an ounce of Turkish hashish.

But, skanks are ALWAYS interesting.  And they're especially interesting when they play the victim card.  First up we have Jamie Jungers.  You remember her.  Lingerie model, "escort" and all around party girl.  Jamie is now, apparently, a professional party girl who gets paid to host bacchanalias in Vegas and other Circles of Hell.  Well, Jamie wants everyone to know that she's "not a home wrecking whore" but thinks that Tiger should also apologize to her and the other mistresses too.  (Whom we'll assume are also not "home wrecking whores".)  Jamie, who wants to transition into modeling and acting also states that "I don't want to be known as Tiger Woods' mistress my whole life."  A little advice, my diminutive doxy?  The moment you are no longer known as Tiger Woods' mistress is the moment you will no longer be paid to host parties.  That seems like nice work if you can get it, so you might want to play this out for as long as you can before you have to start thinking about a real job.  Which for you I  assume will be either be $20.00 for a hand job or $50.00 for a blow job.

Jamie Jungers is living proof that the best way to apply makeup 

is with a paint gun and a putty knife.  

Such a natural beauty should have no problem

 finding actress/modeling work when her 15 minutes of fame

 as a home wrecking whore poor seduced victim 

of a sex addicted golfer is over. 

Photo chosen because The Funeral Guy always 

appreciates a demure panty flash along with an "O" face.  

But Jamie Jungers is stone cold boring compared to Veronica Siwick-Daniels which is the not-fucking-in-front-of-the-camera name of Joslyn James, porn star extraordinaire and another check mark on Tiger's sniz to-do list.  Joslyn (let's call her JJ for short) watched the Tiger embarrassment fest accompanied by her feminazi ambulance chasing lawyer, Gloria Allred and a room full of reporters.  After the no-apologies-to-the-home-wrecking-whore-constituency pseudo press conference, JJ cried tears as big as horse turds as Gloria went on and on about how Tiger professed undying love for his pneumatic
bobble-titted porn star, JJ.  Breaking her heart and getting her twice pregnant and boo hooo, men are such shits and you can't just use women and toss them away and more boo hoo hooooooo.  God....you'd have to have a heart of stone not to laugh.  (Thank you, Oscar Wilde.)   Anyway, this is clearly a play for the greenbacks and I think Gloria is making a mistake hitching her wagon to this particular (porn) star.  Even JJ's family thinks she's a lying strumpet and a sociopath.  Just to put more icing on this gooey cake, JJ's a deadbeat mom that's ten grand in arrears on her child support.  Nice.  Now there's a 10 year old son to go along with the rest of the proud as punch family.

The pregnancy angle is a particular howler.  Considering JJ's profession wouldn't that be a bit like loading a shotgun with the jism of a hundred men and blasting it up her porny poonanny and hoping the gazillionaire golfer goop is the one that sticks?

Real whore and famewhore.  Joslyn James and Gloria Allred. 

Gloria apparently told Joslyn to 
dress down for the news conference 

so JJ decided to look like Patty Hearst as a 

disguised 70's terrorist ready to rob a bank.  

This is Joslyn when she's not pretending to be some poor victim 

by the name of Veronica Siwick-Daniels.  It took me about 5 seconds of  Googling to find one of Joslyn's tamer scenes of interracial/triple penetration skankitude.  

To quote Mrs. Funeral Guy, 

"Yuck.  I'll never get that one out of my head." 

If you didn't see Hannity Friday night here's a snippet of the Battle of the Botoxed Lawyer Broads.  A real classic smackdown between Jeanine Pirro and Gloria Allred.   These two have so many chemicals in their faces that I'm sure that there must be a hazmat team standing by in case there's an explosion.  Jeanine is 58 years old and is pretty MILF-y.  Gloria is 68 and I suppose you could say she's a GILF but she's always wearing turtlenecks so you know that she's hiding some major turkey wattles underneath.



I'll have to give this one to Jeanine by a knockout.  Clearly, Gloria didn't have much to work with.  Even she must have had a hard time shoveling that bullshit with a straight face, but I suppose the fact that her face is unable to move helps somewhat.  It's kind of hard to make an argument that some man did your client wrong when she fucks strange dudes in front of a camera for a living.  That coupled with the fact that it wasn't exactly a secret that her "lover" Tiger Woods was married with kids.  Good try, though.