Clinton!! Intern!! Pornstar!!

Yowsah, yowsah, yowsah!!  God.  I feel like a fucking carnival barker with that headline.  OK, settle down.  It's not exactly what you think.

Samantha Kogelman, whose nom de splooge is Sammie Spades, is the star of such epic smut as Big Butts Like It Big 8 and White Bubble Butts 4.   What else is on her resumé, you ask?  How about intern for then Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton?  Yes, little Sammie worked in the Senator's Buffalo, NY office in 2006 with the dream of becoming an attorney and then running for public orifice office.  After a stint with Hillary, during which she was, to the amazement of all, unable to hook up with a certain ex-presidential penis, little Samantha headed for Vegas to pursue a career in real estate, mortgages and the law.

Samantha and the Senator.

Catch Sammie in her latest fuck-flic, Big Noses Love Big Hoses. 

Alas, and alack, we all know how things tanked in Las Vegas and they don't call it Sin City for nothing, so Samantha did what any girl in her situation would do.  She got a job as a waitress and with the help of friends and family, worked long hours, got back into school and continued to reach for the stars to fulfill her feminist dreams of business success.

Naaaahhhhhhh...just kidding...she got into porn and stripping, of course.  What's a girl to do, 'ya know?   She gottsa' pay dem bills.  So I Googled up some performances of the of the gal reborn as Sammie Spades.  (I do this so you don't have to.)  I doubt you'll be shocked to hear that the star of the Big Butts Like it Big and White Bubble Butts series does more than take a schlong in the place where the baby comes out or the food goes in.  As for her last name?  Spades?  Well, yeah, she does a lot of those to, if you catch my drift.  (Actually, the White Bubble Butt specialty kind of gives it away, doesn't it?)  Interestingly, I also found her in a set of videos that are such niche porn that even I was unaware of it.  Overeating and Belly Stuffing fetish videos.  I watched one and it was basically Sammie stuffing a bunch of food in her mouth until her belly got full and round.  For a fetish performed by mostly chubby girls I must say it failed to give me one.  I seriously didn't get the point of it.  Then again, I don't like to fuck shoes or wear soiled panties over my nose either, so there you go.  I've always prided myself on being old-fashioned.

Why is this now a story?  Well, it's summer and the economy and bombing Libya is sooooooo boooooorrring.  The Weiner saga has gone flaccid and the chance to put Clinton, intern and pornstar in the same sentence is just too delicious to pass up.  Plus, if I was a betting man, I would wager that the former Samantha Kogelman saw a certain Ginger Lee get leg up (so to speak) on her "featured dancer" career and decided to jump on the gravy train.  Good for her, but the Democratic Party bigwigs are probably not too happy now that America is beginning to wonder why their policies seem to hold a particular appeal to pornstars, "featured dancers",  government union bosses and other out of the mainstream exotics.

    Sammie Spades at the AVN Awards.

140 lbs. of sausage in a 100 lb. casing. 

Anyway, back to our plucky heroine, Sammie.  When she gets back on her feet (from being on her back, her knees and on all fours) Sammie wants to forge ahead with her original dreams.  Because what Fortune 500 entity worth their Google skills wouldn't want the star of CEO's and Office Ho's and Butt Licking Anal Whores 13 bringing a touch of class (and ass!) to the stuffy corporate environment?  The sky's the limit for our gal Sammie.  As Sammie says, confident in her ability to multi-task, "I now shoot porn, dance and go to school full time.  I'm even on the Dean's list."

I bet you are Sammie...I bet you are.

Showing more moral clarity than Senator Chuck Shumer, pornstar Ginger Lee says Weiner should resign.

Pornstar Ginger Lee appeared with her famewhore attorney Gloria Allred in the hilariously appropriate setting of the Milton Berle room of the Friar's Club today.  The topic on the table?  Her complete innocence on her part of the Weiner Wanger Sexting Scandal.  The big news is that she stated flat out that Weiner "asked me to lie."  That spells trouble no matter how you slice Weiner's baloney.

It's not easy finding a picture of Ginger Lee that 

I can post on the family friendly Funeral Guy blog.  

Ms. Lee who says she's a former pornstar, now bills herself as a "featured dancer" in "nightclubs".  Oh, dear.  We are becoming delicate with our language aren't we now?  For those of you who are uninitiated in these matters, a "featured dancer" is a stripper/lap dancer and the "nightclub" is a strip joint.  You become a "featured dancer" after you've sucked a plentitude of dick and had your bunghole repeatedly reamed on enough porn DVD's that the horny and the curious will attend a live strip club performance so they can see your vagina up close and personal.  This is not the Alvin Ailey Dance Troupe or the fucking ballet we're talking about here.

Ms. Lee stated that she and The Weiner exchanged nearly 100 emails and Twitter messages for 3 months.  The demure little flower of womanhood said all the communications of a sexual nature were started by the congressman and when they came her way she averted her shy gaze and quickly changed the subject.  But Weiner kept trying to steer the conversation back to his Weiner.  Some of the messages from the congressman were as follows.

"I have wardrobe demands too. I need to highlight my package."


"Alright, my package and I are not going to beg." 


You aren't giving my package due credit."

But Ginger Lee didn't want to talk about Weiner's package.  That would be too much like she was at work.  You have to understand, Ginger is not your average blonde porn professional cum receptacle.  No way, Jose.  She wanted to talk policy.  Ms. Lee is particularly interested in the politics of Planned Parenthood and health care.  Stands to reason.  What good is a pregnant pornstar/stripper/featured dancer and who is going to pay for the treatment of Ginger's various and sundry STD's?

I could be wrong, of course, but I'm beginning to sense a pattern with Representative Weiner.  He is obsessed with his cock. (Insightful, I know.)  In all the exchanges we've seen so far it's always about him and his cock.  Rock hard, my package, big and fat, rock hard cock.  In photos, what's he doing?  Showing his boner, grabbing his junk, cupping his balls.  Outside of one comment to the blackjack dealer about her pussy being tight and wet, he never says, "Hey, I like your tits." or "Wow, you got one fine ass." or "Those legs would look really good wrapped around my waist".   You know, normal guy shit.  I can understand a horny dude wanting to get some action.  Maybe an intern blowjob and some splooge on a dress.  The usual politician quickie sex.  But this shit that Weiner pulled (tee hee) is just way too weird.  Mark my words, Anthony Weiner will be arrested some time in the future for walking around a Middle School with his penis hanging out of his fly.

Gloria Allred and her pornstar traveling circus hit town on the day the presumably angry and embarrassed Mrs. Weiner returns from her road trip.  Would I like to be Anthony Weiner right now?  Not for all the sluts on Facebook.

Update:  The New York Post is reporting that Ginger Lee will be back on the pole at the Pink Pony in Atlanta after her star turn in the Weiner saga today.  Bitch gottsa' get paid, yo!

Meet the press or meet your mom, 

a good fuckslut can dress properly when she has to.