Friday, June 11, 2010

Look Mommy! Look!!! That lady is playing bouncy lap with that man.

This is such a great performance of drunken public fuckery that I'm shocked that Laura Hall is not involved and it didn't happen in Britain.

I've never been to Batavia, New York, but I can only imagine that they don't see shit like this in their parks every day.  (Unlike MacArthur Park in LA which is like one of Dante's Circles of Hell...illegal alien edition.)

Suzanne Corona, 41, and her fuck buddy, Justin Amend, 29, were caught by police boning on a picnic table in Farrall Park at 5:00 in the afternoon.  Oh, no!!!  What about the chilluns?  When the coppers walked up and asked them what they were doing Suzanne and Justin said, "Just talking."  Which may have been the case but while they were "just talking" they were also just fucking.  Police also report that the couple appeared to be intoxicated.  Hmmm, fancy that.  Sounds like we need to start issuing Asbo's in this country to skeevy rumdum skanks who can't even be bothered to go behind a tree to get their public freak on.

Suzanne and Justin.
AKA The Romeo and Juliet of Batavia, NY. 

What gives this story its "hook", as they say in the newsbiz, is in addition to being charged with public lewdness, Suzanne, who is married and a mom, is also facing an adultery rap.  She could get 90 days in the pokey (tee hee) and a $500 fine.  I say they put Suzanne in the ducking stool and make her wear a Scarlet "A" for a year.

Suzanne, with admirable self-reflection, apologized and admitted that her behavior was inappropriate, but told police "[they would] understand if you knew what my life was like."  So what is her life like?  Well, her husband is "transgender" and they "never have sex."   That sure as hell would be enough to turn anyone into a stew bum fuck tramp that boinks younger guys on picnic tables in the pubic (typo, but I'll keep it) park.  (Question:  Did Suzanne not know that her "husband" was an impotent transgender when she married him?  She doesn't seem like the type who would have any moral compunction about sampling the goods before marriage.)

For all her contrition, Suzanne seems pretty incensed about the adultery rap, and will fight that one all the way.  Her husband is standing by her, you see, so it's really nobody else's concern.  Putting aside the outdoor sex show, of course.

You've got to check out the video.  First of all, the husband looks like a tool and a wimp for standing gamely next to his trollop of a wife, but he sure as hell doesn't look transgendered to me.  I also like how the other half of this sexy time criminal enterprise, Justin Amend, slinks away from the camera like a guy caught masturbating in the church school parking lot.  But the best part is listening to Suzanne trying to spin her way out of her liquored up lewdness.  Like an ace attorney she weaves a tightly honed defense of "Yeah, I was fucking this dude in the park, but it really wasn't like fucking because we both had our clothes on and maybe his cock was just exposed around the zipper area if you really want to get technical about it but nobody could really tell what was going on so what's the big deal anyway?"

Translation?  They were doing cowgirl.

No comments:

Post a Comment