Hepatitis C can be contracted by getting your ink done by the world's skeeviest tattoo artist...
Or by all the heroin, coke and booze that might be required to make you forget that not only did you marry Cher, but you also made the worst album in rock history with her.
We at The Funeral Guy sincerely wish Gregg Allman a speedy recovery and a long and fruitful life. We are confident that he will realize what a wonderful gift he's been given and not drink and drug his second liver to death like Papa John Phillips.
We would also like to encourage all the Young Turk speed demons and the indestructible youthful daredevil motorcyclists out there to make sure that your organ donor cards are all signed and up to date. (Please notarize to save any last minute hassles with your parents or significant others.)
And remember, all you YouTube and Jackass generation wannabees. Helmets and seat belts are strictly for pussies. Life is to be lived to the fullest. Go for the gusto and the wind in your hair.
Remember. The life you save...may be mine. Or some other aging rocker. Thank you.
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.