Who needs mace when you have this and a bottle of Sabucco.
If your idea of a good time on holiday is drunkenly waving your junk around while molesting the local sweet things you might want to cross the Isle of Crete off your list. This is a great story from the Telegraph UK. Some British yob tried to do to a Greek girl what probably passes for a smooth prelude to romance back in the booze soaked UK and what he got was a roasting of his ol' twig and berries instead of a polite "no thank you". The woman is being treated as a heroine by the fiercely proud Greeks. As she should be.
What woman wouldn't want to tumble right into the sack
with this modern day version of Cary Grant?
While trying to find some suitable pictures for this post I googled Drunken Brits and got 4, 410,000 hits. Whew! Luckily, Drunken Brits Abroad whittled it down to a more manageable 122,000. I learned that the bloke in the story is not just an aberration. Check this out. Europe claims that Brits are the worst tourists, but if you poll the Brits they say the Yanks are worse. In other words, the Yanks are wankers, but the Brits had to have wankers save their ass in World War II.
H/T to my brother at The Conservaterian for turning me on to this gem. He's a member of the bar (the lawyer one, not the alkie one) and has a good reputation to uphold so he said this was more my kind of story. You know, for a guy with no good reputation to uphold.