Sunday, August 23, 2009

How can we miss you if you won't go away?

Man, dis job's da bomb.
How many weeks of vacation do I get again?

Obama has gone on vacation and I, for one, sincerely hope the media gives all of us one. I can't wait to have a whole week absent his droning bullshit day after day night after night on my TV screen. My god, the man is becoming like Big Brother. Whenever you turn on the tube, sho' nuff, there he is. (Or should I say there He is.) Obama's poll numbers may even stop the free fall if he disappears for a while.

I've finally figured out who Obama reminds me of. He's the guy that comes into the HR department; his CV is outstanding, but his post education resume is a little sketchy. You decide to go ahead and schedule him for an interview. He walks in the door. He looks great in a suit, has a hundred watt smile, is articulate, and smoothly explains away the thin achievements. He also happens to be black, and you know the higher ups are big on diversity, so with that tipping the scales he gets the job.

During the first few weeks he doesn't do a whole lot of productive work but you figure that he just needs to get the lay of the land. A little more time goes by and you realize that every time you spot him in the office the only thing he's doing is bullshitting with the other employees. The work that he does manage to turn in is pedestrian, not creative and totally devoid of the innovative ideas he led you to believe he was capable of. It takes a while (because you really don't want to admit it to yourself) before you realize that your terrific new hire is nothing but the proverbial empty suit. You wish you could get rid of him, but he has a contract (plus the black thing) so you just hope for the best and pray he doesn't do anything too detrimental to the health of the company.

Think about it. Obama has never released his college transcripts (forget about the birth certificate). He was the editor of the Harvard Law Review but with virtually no paper trail that we could scrutinize to get an idea of his thought process. We have no personal records from his time as an Illinois state senator and his time in the U.S. Senate has been spent running for president. All we do have is an autobiography (by definition not an independent source on someone's life) and a list of shady characters that he spent a lot of time hanging with (Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn, plus various other Chicago politicians and fixers). So, with little else than the fog of HopeyChangey oratory, we elected him president.

God help us, its going to be a long three and half more years until his contract is up for renewal.

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