Drunken lesbian wife beating husbands...they're just like drunken hetero wife beating husbands.

Lesbian marital bliss sometimes goes as stinky sour as the heteronormative kind.  Oregon Assistant Attorney General Susan Gerber, 40, was arrested for punching and choking out her wife, Janice Dulle, 38, last Friday night.  According to the story, Janice, confronted her husband, Susan, about some cheatin' goin' on with another woman of the sapphic persuasion.  Susan then told her wife to mind her own business with a shot to the face and some neck bruises.  Damn, this kind of passion is beginning to sound kind of hot.  Or at least it would be if one of the lesbians didn't look like this.

Susan Gerber.  

Somebody order up a piss test stat,

because that is a meth face if I ever saw one. 

Also, she lives in Oregon.  Case closed. 

Pronoun-wise I'm going by what the story says.  I guess these two have worked out the husband/wife thing.  Is that determined by who wears the strap-on?  I'm always a little confused about these roles when gay marriage is involved.

Anyhoohoo.  Susan, like most members of the spouse-battering community is a boozer along with being a flannel shirt skirt chaser.  That's right.  Susan has admitted that she has had a long running dalliance with Demon Rum.  After she was sprung from the lockup, Susan wisely hied herself off to a rehab facility.

I'd wager that nothing much more than a slap on the wrist will come of this.  First of all, it sounds like Janice wants to kiss, make up and get back to scissoring.

And, in oh-so-politically-correct Oregon, Susan is a three-fer.

She's a woman.  She's a lesbian.  She's an alcoholic ("Hey, I gotta disease...boohoohooo!).

Oh yeah.  She's also a card carrying member of the local legal/law enforcement system.  That's a get out of jail free card right there.

I just took a poll of the guys in my office.  

This is what proper drunken lesbians look like. 

Arrested!! On Christmas Morning. Ho Ho Ho!

Mug shots of the rich and famous.

Charlie Sheen, Yuletide Yabo.

Charlie Sheen, one of Hollywood's nuttier squirrel cakes, decided to spend his Christmas in the clink in Aspen, Colorado for allegedly giving his wife, Brooke Mueller Sheen, a tune-up lesson on how to listen to her husband.  Charlie, a rehab veteran, is also in the Hollywood Club of 911 Truthers with Janeane Garafolo, Roseanne Barr and Rosie O'Donnell.  Mr. Sheen is also known for blowing (tee hee) thousands and thousands of dollars on whores when one could assume that a man of his fame could get tons of pussy for free.  (See Woods, Tiger)  For further proof positive that the man has a major screw loose, he was also married to dumb-as-a-bag-of-hammers actress (and I use the term loosely), Denise Richards.

Details on the incident are sketchy at this time.

Brooke and Charlie Sheen. 

Drug crazy or just regular crazy,

you gotta give the man props for his taste in women.

Died on this date:

Ike Turner

Bandleader/Musician/ Producer

Nov. 5, 1931-Dec. 12, 2007

(Age 76)

December is bad news for R&B pioneers.  Ike Turner, is best remembered as the spousal battering half of Ike and Tina Turner (and their famous Revue).  Ike was not a great guitarist or singer but was a great spotter of talent.  He was also an innovative producer and a kick-ass bandleader.  (In both the figurative and literal sense.)

When Ike hooked up with the fiery and charismatic Anna Mae Bullock (Tina Turner) his place in rock history was assured by association if nothing else.  After Tina got sick of the beatings and finally took her talent elsewhere Ike went into semi-obscurity and some hard times.  And I do mean hard time, as in  prison for drug related charges in the late 80's.  He was still trying for parole when he and Tina were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1991.  When the movie What's Love Got to do With It? (Ike and Tina's story) came out in 1993 Ike surfaced to deny ever beating Anna Mae.  (I gotta admit that when Laurence Fishburne takes off his cowboy boot in that movie and starts walloping Angela Bassett with it I laughed my ass off at how over the top it was.)   In his 2001 autobiography Ike admits,  "Sure I've slapped Tina...There were times I punched her to the ground without thinking.  But I never beat her."  Thanks for the clarification, Ike, but I wouldn't let that slip in front of the judge.

One of my brushes with fame is when I realized I was Ike's neighbor in North Hollywood when I watched the LAPD lead him out in cuffs for one of his mid-80's coke busts.  All I could think was, "Shit...that's Ike Turner.  No wonder that goddam house was so fucking noisy."

Ike died from cocaine toxicity exacerbated by cardiovascular disease and pulmonary emphysema.  Like I said about Bobby Hatfield.  When you get to be an old guy, ya gotta give up the blow, my brotha'.