Discrimination against women with big cans? We cannot let this stand.

Lawyers in civil cases will do anything for an edge, but Chicago attorney Dmitry N. Feofanov is being accused of using his boobalicious paralegal to distract the jury.  Opposing attorney Thomas Gooch says the woman's sole purpose "is to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings."  Well, I should hope so.  Mr. Feofanov insists that Daniella Atencia is a qualified paralegal and he has every right to have her assist him in his case.  I wonder if when opposing counsel makes an objection she gives a little shimmy so they bobble and bounce to further confuse the jurors.

"Personally, I like large breasts."  Said Attorney Gooch, but added, "However, I object to somebody I don't think is a qualified paralegal sitting at the counsel table - when there's already two lawyers there - dressed in such a fashion as to call attention to herself."  In the photo below she seems to be dressed professionally.  (Dammit!)  Hey Dimitry, if you really want to distract the jury let me get Daniela into some outfits.  Because if this is the best you can do you are really a rank amateur in the trollop dressing department.

Dmitry and Daniela.  The Boris and Natasha 

of the Chicago legal community. 

I can't really tell about her tits, 

but those sure are some big-ass glasses. 

"Personally, I like large breasts" Really?  I can't believe Mr. Gooch actually said that out loud.  Judge?  Can I get a ruling on that?   One might wonder if it's the jury being distracted or Attorney Gooch.

And one more thing.  Do we not have enough of our own lawyers or was it essential to import Dmitry N. Feofanov here from Russia?

Boobs so big no stripper pole could possibly hold her.

From the always informative Mail Online (UK).

Julia Manihauri, 29, of Peru had a big problem.  Well, two of them actually.  After the birth of her third son Julia's breasts kept growing and growing and growing until her chichis became gigundous bazongas.  How enormous?  You remember the Hindenberg?  That dirigible that crashed in New Jersey all those years back?  About like that.  Seriously, though, her bra is a N cup.  Who even knew there was such a thing?  Julia's boobage reached the point where she was bedridden.  And not just because her husband loved them so much that he was on top of her all the time having a ride.  They were so big that when she would try to stand up she would feel faint.  Sort of like your humble narrator.  When I get fully aroused so much blood goes to my giggle stick I get a little woozy.  (Mrs. Funeral Guy: I wish!)

Julia Manihauri.  

Giving Heidi Montag big ideas. 

The breasts became like that old horror movie The Blob, getting to the point where Julia's life was in danger.  Doctors diagnosed Julia with Bilateral Gynecomastia, a condition where the mammary glands just go shit nuts.  There were only two options for Julia.  Centerfold of the Year in Juggs magazine or reduction surgery.

Julia chose life and the docs (damn 'em) cut off 35 pounds of lady flesh until our dear little 5 foot tall gal was a more manageable 34B.  The sound of her sobbing husband could be heard in the next town.

Wouldn't bother me none.  I'm an ass and leg man.

Update:  The race is on.  Heidi Montag must have already seen the picture of Julia.  Life and Style is reporting that Heidi is scheduling surgery for bigger boom booms.