Monday, March 8, 2010

Woman has car wreck on freeway...everybody blames bush.

This is a good one.

Megan Mariah Barnes.  37 years old going on 50. 
She looks as though life hasn't always been easy.
Gotta give her this much, she still wants to 
look groomed and sexy for her new man. 

Megan Mariah Barnes, some skank ho that forgot to weedwhack her punani before she started driving to see her boyfriend, slam-smacked another car while her passenger, Charles Judy, was holding the wheel so Megan could get busy making razor bumps on her yum yum.

Just to add to the fuckery, Megan was not even supposed to be driving because her license was suspended for DUI the day before the pussy shaving wreck occurred.   After a feeble attempt to switch seats with the passenger failed to fool the troopers that had arrived to investigate, Megan the minx admitted she was on her way to see her boyfriend and "wanted to be ready for the visit." Hahahahaha!

Oh...and the passenger...Charles Judy?  He's Megan's ex-husband.

So let's recap.  Sexy Megan is in such a hurry to see her boyfriend that she forgets to groom her snoochie.  She's a drunk that shouldn't be driving so she talks her ex-husband into accompanying her to see her boyfriend.  Not to drive, mind you.  Just to be handy in case Megan needs some assistance.  Consequently, he is not there to advise her to pull over, but to hold the wheel while she wields a razor next to her most delicate of lady parts while she works the pedals.  Didn't want to lose one minute of boyfriend time, I guess.  Just plain old bad luck that something went wrong with this whole proposition.

Hey, Funeral Guy.  You forgot to tell us.  Where did these madcap hijinks take place?  

I think I'll just let you guess.

3 comments:

  1. Hey TFG, there has to be some kind of award for the crafting of a sentence like this:
    "Megan Mariah Barnes, some skank ho that forgot to weedwhack her punani before she started driving to see her boyfriend, slam-smacked another car while her passenger, Charles Judy, was holding the wheel so Megan could get busy making razor bumps on her yum yum."

    Truly fanfuckingtastic!

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  2. Thank you tbird. These kinds of stories do tend to inspire.

    TFG

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