Saturday, March 20, 2010

Don't piss on my leg then tell me it's raining.

Nitinkumar Patel, a 27 year old ex-con from Secaucus, NJ,  has been arrested for a crime that I'm sure is not even specifically on the books.

What did the Indian oddball do exactly?  He would run up behind hispanic women, take out his trouser snake and make a tinkle all over their legs, that's what.  I am not shitting you.  A serial female leg

This is obviously some kind of rape-o version of consensual golden showers but I'll be damned if I can figure out what the ultimate payoff is.  And why just the hispanic chicks?  Is the wily whizzer also a racist?

Mr. PeePee is accused of doing this seven times until finally caught and has been charged with aggravated criminal sexual conduct, lewdness and child abuse (one of the pissed on was 16).  When apprehended immediately following the last assault Patel the pisser had a big, wet stain on the front of his sweatpants.  Busted!!  Next time, dumbass, put on a Depends.

Nitinkumar A. Patel.
Shouldn't he be an engineer or a math professor?
I'm sure his proud parents never dreamed their son 
would be an ex-con that pees on women in the street. 

I guess the New Jersey legislature has never felt the need to pass a law stating that "It will henceforth be illegal and unlawful to whip out the male member and to subsequently urinate, piss, pass water, whizz, tinkle, piddle or to otherwise take a leak on the back of any female leg.  If said leg happens to belong to a woman of the hispanic persuasion a hate crime enhancement will, of course, apply."  Methinks such a statute will soon be forthcoming.

This kind of deviant doofiness is most certainly a young man's game.  If I were inclined towards this kind of fetish at my upper middle age, I'd have to run up to the girl, brandish my pud and ask, "Could you please stand still for a moment, my dear?  I want to piss on the back of your legs but my prostate's a little enlarged and it takes me a minute to get my stream going.  That's a good girl."

1 comment:

  1. He was charged with "aggravated criminal sexual contact, lewdness, and child abuse." I don't know New jersey law, but I think it would be tough to make any of these stick. What he did was legally a "battery" (which is any unwanted touching).

    I don't see urine as a "sexual contact" but maybe I ma too staid. Lewdness? Did the ladies see the offending member? As for child abuse, well, maybe, but did he know she was underage and does it matter in New Jersey? I don't know.

    The police typically overcharge so the case can get plea bargained away. That is what this sounds like to me.

    The guy is still a disgusting, perverted jerk.