Sunday, February 28, 2010

Johnny Depp becomes a true citizen of smelling like ass!

Neighbors are complaining that after sex the funk 
coming from Johnny and Vanessa's 
bedroom window has all the tomcats in the area 
howling and keeping them awake.

Johnny Depp's performances are consistently good but according to this story his personal hygiene stinks.  Apparently his hot model girlfriend, Vanessa Paradis, is a stank ho as well.  Vanessa, of course, has an excuse...she's French.  At least the Gallic girls use bidets to keep their hoohoo clean.

Robert Pattinson.
If you squeegeed his hair you could run the 
fry basket at McDonald's for a week.

This follows on the heels of the gossip about Robert Pattinson and his toxic BO.  Robert Pattinson, for those of you who don't keep up with these things, is the mega-meterosexual looking dude in the Twilight movies.  He recently stated that he's allergic to vagina which must have sent his teen girl fan base into mass suicide.  He always looks a little greasy to me but maybe he just uses that as vagina repellant.  (Hello, teenage girls?  They have a name for men that are allergic to vagina...and I believe that word is GAY!!)

Brad Pitt with the look that launched a billion 
female masturbatory fantasies the world over. 

"Billy Goat" Brad.
This is what happens when you 
hook up with a succubus that has a kid fetish. 

I think that reeky celebrities use the stinkitude as just another form of narcissistic affectation.  "Oh, look at me...I'm a celebrity but I look and smell like a piss bum.  See how down to earth I am?"

Celebrities.  Not only are some of them assholes.  They smell like one.

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