I think Debrahlee's settlement just got a lot smaller than her surgically enhanced bazongas.

Well that didn't take long.

Before she was a poor, sexually harassed victim of the frat boy culture at Citibank, Debrahlee Lorenzana was just a 26 year-old shrinking violet who decided that her first boob job wasn't porny enough, so she decided that she needed to go up to Playboy proportions.  Or, as she so demurely put it in the 2003 Discovery Health Channel series, Plastic Surgery New York Style, "That's what I want to be: tits on a stick."   Her ultimate goal, you see, was not to be a high ranking bank executive but a "cross between Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra."  This particular surgery was on top of her liposuction and tummy tuck.

Oh, did I mention that Debrahlee is a single mom with a son who will probably be slamming heroin by the time he's 15 because his mom is a shallow, self-obsessed, club-crawling gold digger?  My favorite part from the series is where Debrahlee is dancing in da' club with her jouncing jugs about to fly out of her tube top.   And this was before the double-D upgrade.  My second is when she is with her friend in the market and she holds two melons up to her chest and giggles like a simpleton.

The video is here.  Listen as Debrahlee (in that godawful nasally, New York Puerto Rican Minnie Mouse voice) explains how she figures bigger tits will help her "determined manhunt" to find "Mr. Right".   Someone with the looks of George Clooney or Ben Affleck and of course, "educated and successful".   (Kind of like when the whores on Craigslist mention that they prefer "generous" men.) What Debrahlee brings to the table is the promise of happiness "because I'll be looking like a little Playboy Playmate."

Debrahlee Lorenzana.

Just your typical struggling working mom.

Now I wasn't there in the Citibank office during Debrahlee's employ, but that's surely not going to stop me from speculating.

Let's picture Debrahlee.  It's seven years after her nattering, bubble-brained appearance as a young bimbo on the make who's looking to purchase bigger torpedoes to add to her man snaring arsenal.  As far as we know she still hasn't found Mr. Right.  Although I would bet you a dollar to a donut that she's probably fucked a whole bunch of Mr. Hornys during the search.  Debrahlee is probably just figuring out that just as a woman can smell a sex-starved desperate schlemiel from a mile away, a savvy New York yuppie can similarly sniff out a determined single mom looking for a wallet to marry.  The perfect scenario for the male hit-it n' quit-it maneuver.  (Plus that voice...Oh, my god, how many guys have sat through dinner listening to Debrahlee prattling on while thinking..."How much more of this crap do I have to listen to before we can head to my place for some serious fuck time?")

We're now in Citibank 2010.  Debrahlee is thirty-three and the vision of a closing window is starting to get a little more vivid.  In addition to the sexy outfits and the fuck me shoes, Debrahlee starts putting on the vamp just a little too much and the suits are starting to get uncomfortable.  The Citibank execs are perhaps seeing a little too much sexual tension in the workplace.  It's probably not too much of a stretch to imagine that Debrahlee's mind is more on the successful mens then it is on productive work.  So out she goes.  Debrahlee takes her shot at a possible settlement and some surefire publicity.  As I said in my previous post I could be totally off base on this one, but we'll see.

Debrahlee's attorneys are starting to spin once again that Debrahlee can't be faulted for being a volcanic bobble-titted sex bomb.  They compare her enhancements to a woman who gets her hair done or has a nose job.  Nice try, but when a jury sees that video they may have a different take.

H/t tbird.

Is it hot in here? Or is it just...you!

Debrahlee Lorenzana is suing Citibank on the grounds she was wrongfully terminated because she was just too damned sexy for bank work.  Ms. Lorenzana claims that just because her business attire is straining at the seams it's not her fault if her male co-workers can't handle the hotness.  The lawsuit alleges the obligatory sexist comments and blah blah blah.

Citibank says she was let go for not bringing in enough new customers.  (How could this be possible with her ostensibly superlative business acumen and indisputable lusciousness?)

Let's dissect this one a bit.  You know me.  I'm not what you call cynical but...I'm getting a faint whiff of famewhoredom.

Debrahlee Lorenzana on what is clearly 

a very nippy day in the Big Apple. 

Right off the bat I'll give Debrahlee the benefit of the doubt on the pornstar spelling of her name, since this has been a common parental conceit since the 70's.  (Just as an aside, I am so grateful that my folks didn't give me a name that every time I did business over the phone I had to go, "...OK...I'm gonna need to spell that for you...")

And really?  Did the execs at Citibank start rubbing themselves when Debrahlee sashayed down the hall?  In today's corporate culture did men who have probably been through a dozen HR sexual harassment seminars risk throwing their careers out the window by making overtly creepazoid comments to delectable Debrahlee?  I suppose it's possible she's such a siren that a guy just can't help himself, but I'm skeptical.

I will grant that Debrahlee is pretty fetching.  But...this is New York City, which like Los Angeles has hot alluring women in glorious abundance.  I see Debrahlee caliber broads every day.  Even at banks.  (And especially when I get home.  Right, Honey?)  In Omaha she'd be a traffic stopper, but for NYC and LA she's not extraordinarily off the charts.  Debrahlee is also 33 years old and appears to be a gal of borderline zaftig proportions.  What is now voluptuous will in a few years be "weight problem".   Not trying to be mean here, but she was the one who put her babeitude up for discussion.

Next, if you go to the link there is a video and a whole bunch of dreamy, dishy Debrahlee photos.  Here's Debrahlee on the sidewalk with protruding nipples.   Here's Debrahlee in the office wearing fuck-me-pumps.  Here's busty Debrahlee in a tight sweater.  And my personal favorite, Debrahlee spilling out of her slinky dress.  Whoo hoo!  And there is plenty more on other websites.   Anybody else starting to notice that for a serious businesswoman Debrahlee sure has a lot of provocative pictures of herself floating around the interwebs?  Forgive me if I'm not quite ready to give Debrahlee the Norma Rae/I Am Woman Hear Me Roar Proclamation just yet.

On the other hand, I could be totally out to lunch on this one and Debrahlee Lorenzana is a straight up, bona fide victim of the corporate male patriarchy at its most base.  Let me reiterate that Debrahlee is real beauty and it is certainly no crime for a woman to have the nicest body that God, cosmetic surgery and 24 Hour Fitness can give you. (As a matter of fact, I wholeheartedly encourage it.)

So when the time comes and the Playboy, Maxim and other stroke book offers roll in, and the reality show producers start asking if she might consider drunkenly climbing all over Brett Michaels on the Rock of Love bus, let's hear what she has to say.  If she says, "How dare you, sir.  I am a serious person.  A woman of substance.  You can take your sleazy, cheap shot at fame and shove it right up your ass!"

On that day The Funeral Guy will gladly eat his hat.  (If he had one.)