Saturday, July 10, 2010

Oh, My!!! Total "Mel"tdown!!

The rumored audiotape of Mel Gibson ranting at his Russkie celebrity bastard baby momma, Oksana Suckarichdickova, is no longer a rumor.  It's out and it's comedy gold!

"OK, you two.  I'm too fucking drunk to ever remember your goddam fucking names.  So.  Blondie?  I'm gonna call you Vegas bitch.  And you, with that finger that ain't going up my ass since I'm no fucking fag, goddammit... I'm gonna call you Vegas whore.  Got it?"

You can listen to the whole two minutes at Radaronline, but let's break it down piece by piece (of ass) shall we?

From previous Mel-bursts, we know that The Melster has unkind thoughts about "kikes", but seems to like "sugar tits".   We now have new information that Mel also uses the somewhat archaic term "wetback" in referring to our brown brothers and sisters from the south, and imagines that black rapists roam the countryside in something he calls "packs of niggers."  (You will notice that I assume a degree of maturity from my readers and when using a quote I refuse to say "The N-word" or "N****r".  If some dumb shit used a racial epithet they used a racial epithet.  Grow the fuck up, people.  Funny how most other sites I've checked will not use "nigger" but "wetback" is A-OK.)

Remember, we've already had a teaser on this where Mel said, "I am going to come and burn the fucking house down...but you will blow me first."  My feeling is that you should not threaten bodily harm on somebody right before you stick your cock in the orifice on her face that has teeth.  But maybe that's just me being overly cautious.

Anyway, the two minute tirade runs a pretty full gamut of spooky stalker, ex-lover menace and full bore crazy.

Mel opens this little drama by expressing his pissed off displeasure that Oksana breast feeds his daughter with "foreign bodies" in her chest.  He follows by saying that she lied to him about her "fake tits".

So.  "Sugar tits"= good.  "Fake tits"= bad.

Can a woman really lie to you about having bobble tits?  I know Mel was married to the same woman for a long time, but could he really have been that sheltered?  Considering Mel's well known fondness for the sweet escape of Demon Rum is it hard to imagine he might have cheated on his long time spouse?  That, and, oh yeah, he's a famous movie star.  My money is on Mel being a husband that fucked around.  So the famous Hollywood celebrity (Hollywood of all places!) can't spot a set of plastic hooters a mile away?  Much less when he's squeezing, sucking and probably sliding his lubricated wing-wang up between them on occasion?  OK, whatever.

Moving along.  Mel tells his little Russian doxy that the "fake tits" look "ridiculous" "too big" and "stupid".  (Too big and stupid but Mel still couldn't spot 'em.  Hey, Mel, I don't think Oksana's tits are the only stupid things in the room.  If you catch my drift.)  Then he insults every woman in Las Vegas by saying that Oksana looks like "some Vegas bitch" and "like a Vegas whore".  Vegas bitch and Vegas whore?  Like that's a bad thing?  Jeez, Mel.  First Obama, then you?  How much slander does the poor city of Las Vegas have to take?

Oksana Grigorieva.
Fake tits or not. They sure look sugary sweet to me.

I should mention that whenever Oksana interjects a comment into Mel's psycho screed, she sounds like a reasonable person who is trying to deal with a slow-witted DMV employee.  That, or she has a head full of Xanax.  She's Russian, so it's hard to put your finger on it, but I'd bet on the latter.

Then Mel goes where any criminal profiler will tell you these soon to be ex-girlfriend murdering guys always end up going.  Mel tells Oksana that she looks like "a fucking bitch in heat.  And if you get raped by a pack of niggers it'll be your fault, all right?  Because you provoked it."  The word "provocative" gets thrown around a few times especially when she "show[s] off, in tight outfits and tight pants so you can see your pussy from behind".  (Like Ice-T's wife, Coco!  But the difference is that Ice-T likes Coco walking around that way.)

Mel then finishes up by telling his daughter's mother in a voice that drips with icy hatred that he doesn't trust her, he doesn't love her and he doesn't want her.

What makes me think that somewhere there is a tape of O.J. saying the same things to Nicole.

1 comment:

  1. Just a wild guess but could the Melster's off the wall behavior be attributed to an extreme case of the proverbial Irish curse?